What’s On for Saturday July 7, 2012

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A guide to what’s on in Portsmouth, Fareham, Gosport, Havant, Waterlooville and the rest of south east Hampshire.

SATURDAY, JULY 7

CLUBBING

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 8pm. Monkey Love Stunt Team. (023) 9286 3911.

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 10pm-2.30am. Funkt*If*Ino. With Funkt All-Star DJs. (023) 9286 3911.

COMEDY

PORTSMOUTH: Guildhall, Guildhall Square. 8pm. Frankie Boyle. Admission £25. (023) 9282 4355, portsmouthguildhall.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Tiger Tiger Portsmouth, Gunwharf Quays. 6pm doors for 8pm-10pm (last entry 7.45pm). Jongleurs Comedy Night. Featuring: Karen Bayley, Matthew Osborn, Wayne Deakin and Ninia Benjamin. Admission £15. (023) 9288 2244.

CONCERTS

FAREHAM: Ferneham Hall, Osborn Road. 7.30pm. Havant Symphony Orchestra in concert. Performing works by Rossini, Grieg, Liszt and Brahms. Admission £7-£18. (01329) 231942, fernehamhall.co.uk.

DANCING

RAKE: Village Hall. 7.45pm-11pm. Liss Sequence Dance Club. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission £4. (01730) 892570.

EVENTS

ALTON: High Street. 10am-2pm. Hampshire Farmers’ Market (Food Festival). Enjoy the taste of local food.

EMSWORTH: Emsworth Community Centre, Church Path. 10am-1pm. Emsworth Crafts. A group of designer/makers living in Hampshire and West Sussex offer a wide variety of goods for sale. Refreshments available. emsworthcrafts.co.uk.

FAREHAM: West Street pedestrianised precinct. 9am-2pm. Farmers’ Market. Sample before you buy from the people who actually produce, and taste the difference in quality whilst supporting your local farming and rural community. Discover Little Woodham: a 1642 living history village. Music entertainment by Shenanigans.

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 9am-4pm. Maltings’ Monthly Market. Around 200 stalls to browse. Admission 50p. (01252) 745444.

GOSPORT: meet Explosion Museum of Naval Firepower Coffee Shop, Priddys Hard. 1pm. New Ramparts Tour. A tour of the Ramparts with local historian Terry Hinkley. Not suitable for under-12s. Sensible footwear must be worn.

HAVANT: Havant Leisure Centre, Civic Centre Road. 11.30am-1pm. Nearly New Sale. Organised by Havant & District branch of the National Childbirth Trust. Items on sale include a selection of equipment, toys and clothing from maternity right through to baby and toddlers. Admission £1.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 10.30am-3pm. Makers Monthly Market. Offering contemporary arts and crafts where every item is created by hand. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

HORNDEAN: Butser Ancient Farm (Chalton/ Clanfield turnoff on A3). 10am-5pm. Childhood Weekend. What would it have been like to have been a child during the Iron Age or Roman period in Britain? See what chores you would have done and how you would have been trained or educated for the future. (023) 9259 8838, or butserancientfarm.co.uk.

OLD PORTSMOUTH: meet to catch the 9am IoW car ferry. Gordon Davey Memorial Cycle Ride to Godshill, Ventnor and St Helens. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Buckland Park Play Centre, Malins Road, 11am-4pm. Strawberry Fayre. Including arena events, barbecue, tombola, table top and grand draw.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 10am-4pm. Small Wonders. A day of activities, entertainment and performance for young children and their families, presented by Winchester Hat Fair. Admission: £3, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by local artists Anahid, Terry Devaney and Pat Hoper. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

EMSWORTH: Museum, 10b, North Street. 10.30am-4.30pm. Paintings by Angela Loader. Many of Angela’s pictures are of subjects related to the sea, of boats and lcoal seascapes. Most of the printings and some prints will be on sale. (01243) 373780, emsworthmuseum.co.uk.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

OLD PORTSMOUTH: St Thomas’ Cathedral, High Street. 10am-4.30pm. Omega Printmakers Exhibition, 2012. An exhibition by 30 local printmakers. omegaprintmakers.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

GIGS

FAREHAM: Hill Park MWM Club. Voice sof America. Tribute night. Members £3; guests £5.

FAREHAM: The Limes, Catisfield Lane, Catisfield. 7.30pm doors for 8pm. The Village Folk Club. Featuring Tangle. Admission: £7. (01329) 512106.

HAMBLE: Aerostructures S&S Club, Kings Avenue, 7.30pm-11.30pm. Roosters. Freestyle jive to 50s era music. Plus DJ. (01329) 234542, 07751 065 433.

PORTSMOUTH: Alma Arms, Highland Road, Eastney. 8.45pm. Reactor 1. reactor1.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Brewers Arms, 170, Milton Road. 7.30pm. Charity Karaoke Night. In aid of SADS UK. (023) 9273 6583.

PORTSMOUTH: Cellars at Eastney, 56, Cromwell Road. 7.30pm. White Falcon. Plus special guests. Admission: £5 in advance, £6 on door. (023) 9282 6249, thecellars.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Graham, George Street. 8.30pm. Kenny Mayes.

PORTSMOUTH: Harvest Home, 106 Copner Road. 8.30pm. Sarah Saville.

PORTSMOUTH: Old Canal, Shirley Avenue, Milton. 8.30pm. Kevin Ray.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home, Locksway Road, Milton. A Work of Indie, 7.30pm; Chloe Lockyer, 8pm; Hariett Terrill and Lee Coneley, 8.30pm; Smiley Campbell Band, 9pm; Big Love Soul, 10pm-11pm.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. Mr Mountain. Harmonica-led band of Kev Ellis. rmatavern.co.uk.

ROGATE: Village Hall, North Street. 7pm doors for 8pm. WJR. Presented by Oakgate CMC. (01730) 892498.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: The Fountain, 34, The Green. 8.30pm. Running On Empty.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. Free Beer and Naked Women. Rock band. (023) 9282 1658.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Brook, 466, Portswood Road. 8pm doors. Pick Floyd. Admission: £10 advance, £12 door. (023) 8055 5366.

STAGE

BORDON: Phoenix Arts Centre, Station Road. 8pm. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Quality musical theate for both children and adults. Admission £10, concs. (01420) 472664, phoenix-arts.co.uk.

CHICHESTER: Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.30pm. Heartbreak House. By George Bernard Shaw. Starring Derek Jacobi. Admission: £14-£33. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 2.30pm, 7.45pm. The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui. By Bertolt Brecht in a translation by George Tabori. Admission: £29.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

COSHAM: St Phillip’s Hall, Hawthorn Crescent, Highbury. 7.45pm. Old Herbaceous. A play by Reginald Arkell, performed by Cliff Mullins of Highbury Players. Admission £10, concs (includes ploughman’s supper). Profits to Breakthrough Breast Cancer and the British Heart Foundation. (023) 9238 7329.

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 2.30m, 7pm. Charlotte’s Web: the musical. Presented by the Yvonne Arnaud Youth Theatre. Admission: £11, concs. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 7.30pm. The Canterbury Tales: Play Two. Presented by HumDrum. Admission £8, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Buckland Community Centre, Malins Road. 7.30pm. Celebration Show. Presented by the Centre Players with the Toe Tappeers and Serendiperety Dancers. Admission £2.50, concs. (023) 9269 2914.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 7.30pm. Porgy and Bess. Performed by the Cape Town Opera. Admission: £24-£55. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 2.30pm, 7.30pm. A Triple Bill. Presented by the Giselle Academy of Dance and Theatre Arts: Slaughter on Tenth Avenue; Hansel and Gretel; and Randomatap. Admission: £19.50. (023) 9282 8282.

TITCHFIELD: St Margaret’s Arts Centre, 73, St Margaret’s Lane. 7.30pm. At the Drop of a Cat! Poems by T S Elliot, presented by Heather Carling. And Keep It Under Your Hat! A series of sketches set in the 20s and 30s, the age of naivety. Admission: £9. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.

WALKS & TALKS

CHERITON: meet War Memorial (GR SU583284). 10am. Petersfield Ramblers Club Walk. A nine-mile walk. Cars leave Petersfield Town Station at 9.25am. All welcome. (01730) 269253.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 4.30pm-6.30pm. Meet the Artist. Meet Marion Forster, whose exhibition at The Spring runs until August 12. Admission £8, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

SUNDAY, JULY 8

CONCERTS

PORTSMOUTH: The Church of the Resurrection, Penrhyn Avenue, Drayton. 7.30pm. Portsmouth Philharmonia in concert. Programme includes works by Maccunn, Haydn and Beethoven. Admission: £5, in advance or on door. (01489) 578373.

COMEDY

PORTSMOUTH: Guildhall, Guildhall Square. 8pm. Frankie Boyle. Admission £25. (023) 9282 4355, portsmouthguildhall.org.uk.

EVENTS

COSHAM: meet outside Cosham Library, Spur Road. 9.30am. Cycle ride to Botley Garden Centre, Timsbury and Brambridge. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 10am-2pm. Hands, Militaria Collectors Fair. With over 150 trader tables. Admission £3. (01252) 745444.

HAVANT: meet outside The Spring, East Street. 10.30am. Tandem cycle ride to Emsworth and Queen Elizabeth Country Park. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. (01243) 466556, ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 11am-8pm. Havant Welcomes the World. (023) 9247 2700 or thespring.co.uk for full details.

HORNDEAN: Butser Ancient Farm (Chalton/ Clanfield turnoff on A3). 10am-5pm. Childhood Weekend. What would it have been like to have been a child during the Iron Age or Roman period in Britain? See what chores you would have done and how you would have been trained or educated for the future. (023) 9259 8838, or butserancientfarm.co.uk.

LIPHOOK: Hollycombe Steam Collection, Iron Hill. 11am-5pm. Circus Fun Children’s Day. A fun day for the children. Admission £13, concs. (01428) 724900, hollycombe.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Bransbury Park, Eastney. 2pm-5pm. Miniature Railway Rides. Portsmouth Model Engineering Society members offer rides on steam and battery-powered locomotives (weather permitting). Rides are 40p for two laps. portsmouthmes.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: St Mary’s Church, Fratton Road. 4pm. Choral Evensong. The choir of St Mary’s sing a traditional service of evensong.

SOUTHSEA: Rock Gardens (Pyramids if wet), Clarence Esplanade. 2pm-5pm. Memories Meet-up Afternoon. An opportunity for you to share your memories of times spent in the Rock Gardens down through the years. (023) 9283 1461.

SOUTHSEA: Southsea Castle Field, Clarence Esplanade. 11am-5pm. Love Southsea Show. Attractions include dog show, fun stalls, market place, donkey rides. Main stage band line up: Beth Oliver Band; The Visitors; Free Funk Soul Collective; and Orange Street. After show charity auction. lovesouthsea.co.uk.

WINCHESTER: Middlebrook Street and car park. 9am-2pm. Hampshire Farmers’ Market. Enjoy the taste of local food.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 1pm-5pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by local artists Anahid, Terry Devaney and Pat Hoper. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

EMSWORTH: Museum, 10b, North Street. 2.30pm-4.30pm. Paintings by Angela Loader. Many of Angela’s pictures are of subjects related to the sea, of boats and lcoal seascapes. Most of the printings and some prints will be on sale. (01243) 373780, emsworthmuseum.co.uk.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

OLD PORTSMOUTH: Square Tower, Broad Street. 11am-4pm. Crafts in the Tower. An exhibition by artists and makers from the local area showcasing jewellery, ceramics, fine art, glass work, textiles and photography. craftsinthetower.com.

OLD PORTSMOUTH: St Thomas’ Cathedral, High Street. 10am-4.30pm. Omega Printmakers Exhibition, 2012. An exhibition by 30 local printmakers. omegaprintmakers.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

GIGS

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 3pm-5pm. Gordie MacKeeman and his Rhythm Boys. Old time roots music. Admission: £10. (01252) 745444.

PORTSMOUTH: Old Canal, Shirley Avenue, Milton. 4pm-8pm. Dave Barrett.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home, Locksway Road, Milton. 2.30pm-midnight. Charity All Dayer for Leukaemia Care. All or Nothing, 2.30pm; Matt McGowan, 5pm; Hot Betty, 7pm; All or Nothing, 8.30pm; Dave Barratt, 10pm.

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Jairus/ Ruin Everything/ Ftwihathhtss/ Noyo/ Mathis/ Shipton. Admission £3. (023) 9286 3911.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. Father Jack unplugged. Celtic in the garden! (023) 9282 1658.

STAGE

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Pompey Pop. A celebration of the 60s, from skiffle to rock n roll. Admission: £10. (023) 9282 8282.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 6pm. Schools Hiphop Festival. Young performers from local schools take to the stage to show their hiphop moves. Admission: £10, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

MONDAY, JULY 9

DANCING

COSHAM: Cosham Community Centre, Wootton Street. 7.30pm-10pm. M&M Modern Sequence Dance Club. All welcome to this modern sequence club. (023) 9298 8550.

PORTSMOUTH: St James’ Hospital Entertainments Hall, Locksway Road. 7.30pm-10.15pm. Ballroom, Latin American and Sequence Dance. Dancing with Elaine Hardy. All welcome. BYO refreshments. Admission £3. (023) 9235 5388, 07732 968 236.

WICKHAM: Community Centre, Mill Lane. 1.30pm-4pm. Monday Tea Dance. Admission: £2.50. (023) 9273 3393, 07980 058 310, ballroomrazzmatazz.co.uk.

EVENTS

HEDGE END: The Berry Theatre, Wildern Lane. 7pm-9pm. Writers Hub. Monthly event led by playwright Sean Tyler for all writers who live or work in and around Hampshire. Admission: £5 per session. (01489) 799499, theberrytheatre.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Buckland Community Centre, Malins Road. 10.30am-12.45pm. Spiritual Healing Clinic. No appointment necessary. Cost free, a donation is gratefully received. (023) 9269 3169.

PORTSMOUTH: Fratton Community Centre, Trafalgar Place (off Clive Road). 10.30am-midday. New Age Kurling. Fun, plus exercise. All welcome. Admission: £2.50. (023) 9278 0500.

PORTSMOUTH: St Cuthbert’s Church Centre, Hayling Avenue, Copnor. 9.15am-11.15am. Connors Toy Library. For play, friendships, socialising, toy loan, craft and other activities. Admission £2 per family per week.

SOUTHSEA: Havelock Centre, Fawcett Road. 9.30am-11.30am. Connors Toy Library. For play, friendships, socialising, toy loan, craft and other activities. Admission £2 per family per week.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by local artists Anahid, Terry Devaney and Pat Hoper. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

OLD PORTSMOUTH: St Thomas’ Cathedral, High Street. 10am-4.30pm. Omega Printmakers Exhibition, 2012. An exhibition by 30 local printmakers. omegaprintmakers.co.uk.

GIGS

PORTSMOUTH: Cellars at Eastney, 56, Cromwell Road. 7.30pm. Pompey Pluckers ‘Oh, Pluck it!’. An acoustic cabaret night hosted by the Pompey Pluckers. Admission: £3. (023) 9282 6249, thecellars.co.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Burn The Fleet. Plus Set Your Sails; Attention Thieve; Midday Committee; and Chick Rides Artist. Admission £5. (023) 9286 3911.

STAGE

CHICHESTER: Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.30pm. Heartbreak House. By George Bernard Shaw. Starring Derek Jacobi. Admission: £14-£33. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.45pm. The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui. By Bertolt Brecht in a translation by George Tabori. Admission: £29.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 7.45pm. Noël Coward’s Volcano. Starring Jenny Seagrove, Dawn Steal and Jason Durr. Admission: £15-£26.50, concs. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 7.30pm. Avenue Q. The musical returns to the Mayflower after five years. Admission: £10-£31.50. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 6.30pm. Schools Hiphop Festival. Young performers from local schools take to the stage to show their hiphop moves. Admission: £10, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

WALKS & TALKS

HAVANT: Langstone Conservative Club, Emsworth Road. 10.30am. Getting Close to Nature. Talk, organised by the Havant Complementary Health Group. All welcome. Admission: £3. (023) 9307 9413.

PORTSMOUTH: meet The Bridge Centre, Fratton Road. 10.30am. Victoria Park Walk. Buggy and wheelchair friendly walk. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Health Development Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SOUTHSEA: meet South Parade Pier. 1pm. Pier to Pier Walk. Ideal for buggies and wheelchairs. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Health Development Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SOUTHSEA: meet South Parade Pier. 7.30pm. Eastney Seafront Walk. An evening stroll along the seafront towards Eastney, returning via Eastern Parade. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Health Development Team. (023) 9268 8390.