What’s On for Saturday June 16, 2012

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SHORT STORY FOR THE WEEKEND: Naked Truth by Keith Baker

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A guide to what’s on in Portsmouth, Fareham, Gosport, Havant, Waterlooville and the rest of south east Hampshire.

SATURDAY, JUNE 16

COMEDY

PORTSMOUTH: Tiger Tiger Portsmouth, Gunwharf Quays. 6pm doors for 8pm-10pm (last entry 7.45pm). Jongleurs Comedy Night. Featuring: Angie McEvoy, Prince Abdi, Paul B Edwards and Ron Vaudry. Admission £15. (023) 9288 2244.

CONCERTS

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 1pm-3pm. Classical Recital. Featuring: Ffinian Jones (piano) and Cheryl Coutinho (soprano). Admission: £5, concs. (01252) 745444.

DANCING

PAULSGROVE: Community Centre, Marsden Road. 8pm-11pm. Saturday Ballroom Dance. Plus some sequence dancing. BYO, no wet bar. Admission: £4. (023) 9273 3393, 07980 058 310, ballroomrazzmatazz.co.uk.

EVENTS

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 2pm-3.30pm. Ukulele Workshop. With ukulele teacher Clive Harvey, Admission £10 session. (01252) 745444.

HAVANT: meet outside The Spring, East Street. 5am. Bob Kemp Memorial Cycle Ride to Salisbury, Stockbridge and Alresford. 9.15am. Cycle ride to Titchfield Haven and Warsash. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: St Cuthbert’s Church Vicarage Garden, Lichfield Road, Copnor. 12.30pm-4pm. Summer Fayre. Something for everyone, including stalls, sideshows, children’s activities and refreshments. All money raised will go towards the church running costs. Admission 50p.

PORTSMOUTH: St Wilfrid’s Church, George Street. 10.30am. Coffee Morning for Father’s Day. A morning of refreshments and competitions to raise some funds.

PORTSMOUTH: The Church of the Resurrection, Penrhyn Avenue, Drayton. 1.30pm doors. Rose and Sweet Pea Show. Organised by the Farlington and District Garden Club. Plant sale, raffle and rrefreshments. Entrance 50p.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: Stansted Park (PO9 6DX). 10am-5pm. The Garden Show. Art, design and your garden. Meet growers and producers with a passion for gardening. Admission £8, concs. (01243) 538456.

WINCHESTER: Cathedral. 9am-3pm. Hampshire Farmers’ Market. Enjoy the taste of local food.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Alresford Monday Painting Group. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

EMSWORTH: Museum, 10b, North Street. 10.30am-4.30pm. Royal Jubilation. Emsworth Museum celebrates the Queen’s Jubilee with this special exhibition of memorabilia associated with both Emsworth and the Queen’s reign. (01243) 373780, emsworthmuseum.co.uk.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-4pm. The Way of the Warrior. Arms and armour from epic movies! Includes replica arms and armour that can be handled and worn. (023) 9250 1957, hants.gov.uk/gdc.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 10am-8pm. In Memoriam. This exhibition explores the language of remembrance through imagery of local memorials of the Great War 1914-18. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

SELBORNE: Selborne Gallery, The Plestor. 11am-5pm. Hampshire Artists’ Co-operative Spring Exhibition. With guest artists Mary Herdman and Jo Ellis. (01420) 511347.

FILMS

LISS: Triangle Centre. The Artist. (12A); 7pm doors for 7.30pm. Directed by: Michel Hazanavicius. Starring: Jean Dujardin, John Goodman and Berenice Bejo. Admission: £5, in advance; £6 on door. (01730) 301000.

PORTSMOUTH: No 6 Cinema, Boathouse 6, Historic Dockyard. Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. (12A); 6pm doors for 7pm. UK, 2011. Directed by: Lasse Hallström. Starring: Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt and Kristin Scott Thomas. 07958 180 037.

GIGS

COSHAM: Cosham Social Club, Wayte Street. 9pm. Belle and The Beaus. All welcome.

FAREHAM: Hill Park MWM Club. Max Bona Live Band. Support from Six Minets to Sunrise.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. Doors 8pm. Not the Rolling Stones. Admission £10, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Druids, Binstead Road. 8.30pm. Kenny Mayes.

PORTSMOUTH: Harvest Home, 106 Copner Road. 8.30pm. Dave Barrett.

PORTSMOUTH: Old Canal, Shirley Avenue, Eastney. 8.30pm. Dave D.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home, Locksway Road, Milton. 8pm-midnight. Pretty Young Thing, 8pm; Becky Jerams, 9pm; The Hourglass, 10pm; Contagious Vibes, 11pm.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. Mary Jane. Psycadelic celtic rock band. (023) 9282 0896, rmatavern.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Sirloin of Beef, 152, Highland Road. 1pm-3.30pm. Helen MacD and the Hot Club MacDiva Trio. Cool jazz and blues tunes.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Brook, 466, Portswood Road. 8pm doors. T-Rextasy. Admission: £12 advance, £14 door. (023) 8055 5366.

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Ian Somerhalder Foundation Benefit Gig. Featuring: Missing Citizen, The Lost Souls Club, Lem and The White Fire, and Hollwood Trash. Plus special guests. Admission £5. (023) 9286 3911.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. Power of Three. Tasty blue band. (023) 9282 1658.

SOUTHSEA: The Jolly Sailor, 54, Clarence Esplanade, 8.30pm. 80s Party Night with Spirit. (023) 9229 5195.

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 8pm. The UK Chili Peppers. Admission £6. (023) 9286 3911.

STAGE

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 2.30pm, 7.45pm. Canvas. Comedy by Michael Wynne. Admission: £29.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 2.30pm, 7.30pm. Half A Sixpence. Presented by Farnham Amateur Operatic Society. Admission: £12-£14. (01252) 745444.

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 2.30pm, 8pm. The Producers. The new Mel Brooks musical brought to you by 2012 GSA graduates. Admission: £13.50-£20.50. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Groundlings Theatre at The Old Benny, Curzon Howe Road, Portsea. 8pm. Cabaret. Set in a decadent Berlin nightclub in 1931. Admission: dinner, £17.50, concs; show only, £12.50, concs. (023) 9273 7370, groundlings.co.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 2pm, 7.30pm. Midnight Tango. Starring: Vincent Simone and Flavia Cacace. Admission: £17.50-£32.50. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

STUBBINGTON: Crofton Community Theatre, Stubbington Lane (PO14 2PP). 7.30pm. Blithe Spirit. Noel Coward comedy presented by the Crofton Amateur Dramatic Society. Admission: £8. (01329) 661143.

TITCHFIELD: St Margaret’s Arts Centre, 73, St Margaret’s Lane. 7.30pm. The History Boys. Play by Alan Bennett about an unruly bunch of bright, funny sixth-form boys. Admission £11. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 10am, 1pm, 4pm. Peppa Pig’s Treasure Hunt. Peppa Pig and her friends are going on a treasure hunt and they need your help! Admission: £15, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

WALKS & TALKS

FARNHAM: meet Abbotts Wood Inclosure (off the A325 Petersfield to Farnham Road, GR SU811411). 10am. Petersfield Ramblers Club Walk. A five-mile walk. Cars leave Petersfield Town Station at 9.15am. All welcome. (01730) 269253.

SELBORNE: Gilbert White’s House and Garden, Selborne Hill. 7pm. Roses. Talk and garden tour by award-winning rose experts Catherine and David May. (01420) 511275, or gilbertwhiteshouse.org.uk.

SUNDAY, JUNE 17

CONCERTS

SOUTHSEA: St Peter’s Theatre, Fraser Road (PO5 1EE). 7.30pm for 8pm. Shep Woolley’s A Roof Over Their Heads. Charity concert in aid of Alabare Christian Care and Support who specialise in helping armed forces’ veterans. Admisison £10, concs. 0845 293 9350, southseaboxoffice.co.uk.

EVENTS

COSHAM: meet outside Cosham Library, Spur Road. 9.30am. Cycle ride to Southampton, Minstead and Brambridge. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

FARNHAM: Rural Life Centre, Old Kiln Museum, Tilford. 10am-5pm. Open Hive Event. Farnham Beekeepers will be holding an open day at the Rural Life Centre’s apiary. (01252) 795571 or rurallife.plus.com/rlc.

HAYLING ISLAND: Northney Farm, St Peter’s Road. 10am-4pm. Farm Open Day. Tractor and trailer rides, see the cows and machines close up, learn more about dairy farming past and present. northneyfarm.com.

PORTSMOUTH: Bransbury Park, Eastney. 2pm-5pm. Miniature Railway Rides. Portsmouth Model Engineering Society members offer rides on steam and battery-powered locomotives (weather permitting). Rides are 40p for two laps. portsmouthmes.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Highland Road Cemetery. 2pm. Highland Road Cemetery Tour and Information Day. Disability-friendly tour (£3 pp), organised by the Friends of Highland Road Cemetery. Admission to the chapel (midday-4pm) with over 250 displays is free.

PORTSMOUTH: St Mary’s Church, Fratton Road. 4pm. Music Foundation Concert. The annual concert given by members of St Mary’s Choir and particularly by the children and young people who benefit from the work of the foundation. Admission free, retiring collection in aid of the foundation, which helps young people to develop music skills.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: Stansted Park (PO9 6DX). 10am-5pm. The Garden Show. Art, design and your garden. Meet growers and producers with a passion for gardening. Admission £8, concs. (01243) 538456.

SOUTHSEA: Palmerston Road. 10am-2pm. Hampshire Farmers’ Market. Enjoy the taste of local food.

SOUTHWICK: Suthwyk Ales, Offwell Farm (PO17 6DX). Midday-4pm. Steam Up. The steam engine will be running for Father’s Day. All welcome. Free entry. (023) 9220 1133, southwickbrewhouse.co.uk.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 1pm-4.15pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Alresford Monday Painting Group. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

EMSWORTH: Museum, 10b, North Street. 2.30pm-4.30pm. Royal Jubilation. Emsworth Museum celebrates the Queen’s Jubilee with this special exhibition of memorabilia associated with both Emsworth and the Queen’s reign. (01243) 373780, emsworthmuseum.co.uk.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

SELBORNE: Selborne Gallery, The Plestor. 11am-5pm. Hampshire Artists’ Co-operative Spring Exhibition. With guest artists Mary Herdman and Jo Ellis. (01420) 511347.

GARDENS

SOUTHSEA: 27 and 28, St Ronan’s Avenue; also 85 and 87, St Ronan’s Road. 2pm-6pm. Gardens Open. Southsea Gardens group opening. Open under the National Gardens Open for Charity scheme. Admission £5, covers all four gardens. 28stronansavenue.co.uk.

SOUTHSEA: 85, St Ronan’s Avenue. 2pm-6pm. City Gardens. With a classical twist. Open under the National Gardens Open for Charity scheme. 28stronansavenue.co.uk.

SELSEY: Gardens. 11am-5pm. Selsey Gardens Open Day. About 15 village gardens will be open in aid of St Wilfrid’s Hospice, the Alzheimer’s Society and Manhood Wildlife and Heritage Group. many have wheelchair access. Admission £5 (under-12s free). Further details from (01243) 605389, 605276.

GIGS

PORTSMOUTH: Cellars at Eastney, 56, Cromwell Road. 2pm. An Afternoon with Steve Hampton FIIK. (023) 9282 6249, thecellars.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home, Locksway Road, Milton. 7pm-10pm. Open Mic/ Karaoke. Featuring and hosted by Matt McGowan. Everyone is welcome to simply turn up and perform a few songs.

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 8pm. Mattox Yard. Plus special guests. Admission £3. (023) 9286 3911.

SOUTHSEA: Marmion Tavern, Marmion Road. 5pm-8pm. Dave Mitchell.

SOUTHSEA: Rosie’s Vineyard, 87, Elm Grove. 1pm-4pm. Live Jazz. Featuring: the Milton James Hot Four. (023) 9275 5944.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. Cliff! Inappropriate songs on the wrong instrument. (023) 9282 1658.

SOUTHSEA: The Jolly Sailor, 54, Clarence Esplanade, 5pm. James and Fred’s Live Jukebox. (023) 9229 5195.

STAGE

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 10am, 1pm, 4pm. Peppa Pig’s Treasure Hunt. Peppa Pig and her friends are going on a treasure hunt and they need your help! Admission: £15, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

MONDAY, JUNE 18

DANCING

COSHAM: Cosham Community Centre, Wootton Street. 7.30pm-10pm. M&M Modern Sequence Dance Club. All welcome to this modern sequence club. (023) 9298 8550.

EVENTS

COSHAM: meet Cosham Conservative Club, Spur Road. 7.30pm. Cosham Phoenix Social Club. For anyone over 60. Music with DJ, and other varied events. New members welcome. (023) 9269 1740 or 9237 0030.

PORTSMOUTH: Fratton Community Centre, Trafalgar Place (off Clive Road). 10.30am-midday. New Age Kurling. Fun, plus exercise. All welcome. Admission: £2.50. (023) 9278 0500.

PORTSMOUTH: Milton Village Hall, Milton Road. 6pm. Zumba Fitness. A six-week course is £18. 07582 370 900.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Alresford Monday Painting Group. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-4pm. The Way of the Warrior. Arms and armour from epic movies! Includes replica arms and armour that can be handled and worn. (023) 9250 1957, hants.gov.uk/gdc.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 10am-8pm. In Memoriam. This exhibition explores the language of remembrance through imagery of local memorials of the Great War 1914-18. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

GIGS

NORTH BOARHUNT: North Boarhunt Social Club, Trampers Lane. 8.30pm. Forest Folk. Double bill featuring Landermason and The Askew Sisters. All welcome. Admission: £10. (023) 9226 4288, info@forestfolk.co.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Up-c Down-C. Plus What The Blood Revealed, Waking Charred, and Sleep Centre. Admission £4. (023) 9286 3911.

STAGE

CHICHESTER: Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.30pm. Kiss Me Kate. Music and lyrics by Cole Porter. Book by Sam and Bella Spewack. Director Trevor Nunn. Choreographer Stephen Mear. Admission: £14-£34. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

FAREHAM: Ferneham Hall, Osborn Road. 2pm. We’ll Meet Again. With a recollection of the days when music was music. Admission £12.50, concs. (01329) 231942, fernehamhall.co.uk.

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 7.30pm. Lillies on the Land. Delightful and touching play charting the personal journeys of four women who sign up to the Women’s Land Army of World War II. Admission £15, concs. (01252) 745444.

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 7.45pm. The Producers. The new Mel Brooks musical brought to you by 2012 GSA graduates. Admission: £13.50-£20.50. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

TITCHFIELD: St Margaret’s Arts Centre, 73, St Margaret’s Lane. 7.30pm. The History Boys. Play by Alan Bennett about an unruly bunch of bright, funny sixth-form boys. Admission £9. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.

WALKS & TALKS

COSHAM: The Link (formerly Uncle Tom’s Cabin), Havant Road. 2pm-4pm. Chartres Cathedral Architecture and Stained Glass. Talk by Malcolm Meadows, organised by the Portsdown Branch of the U3A. All welcome. Admission: £2. (023) 9237 8785, 9237 4044.

HAVANT: Warblington School Drama Room, Southleigh Road. 7.30pm-9pm. Chopin: his life, his health, his work. A talk by Winston Leigh, presented by the Science Discovery Group. All welcome. Admission: £2. (01243) 373848.

HAVANT: Langstone Conservative Club, Emsworth Road. 10.30am. The Heart of Wellbeing. Talk, organised by the Havant Complementary Health Group. All welcome. Admission: £3. (023) 9307 9413.

PORTSMOUTH: meet The Bridge Centre, Fratton Road. 10.30am. Victoria Park Walk. Buggy and wheelchair friendly walk. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Health Development Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SOUTHSEA: meet South Parade Pier. 1pm. Pier to Pier Walk. Ideal for buggies and wheelchairs. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Health Development Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SOUTHSEA: meet South Parade Pier. 7.30pm. Eastney Seafront Walk. An evening stroll along the seafront towards Eastney, returning via Eastern Parade. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Health Development Team. (023) 9268 8390.