What’s On for Saturday March 2 and Sunday March 3, 2012

Jon Richardson 'Old Man'. Picture by Andy Hollingworth

REVIEW: Jon Richardson at The Kings Theatre, Southsea

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A guide to what’s on in Portsmouth, Fareham, Gosport, Havant, Waterlooville and the rest of south east Hampshire.

SATURDAY, MARCH 2

CLUBBING

GOSPORT: Thorngate Halls, Bury Road. 8pm-1am. Gosport Soul Club. Large dance floor (talc allowed). Admission £5 on door.

PORTSMOUTH: The Barn, Milton Arms, Milton Road. George Love’s Back To Roots Special. With Fabio, Colin Dale and MC Emix. 1986-1994 house, techno, drum n bass. Admission £5. (023) 9221 0437.

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 10pm. Funkt*If*Ino. With very special guest Joey Negro. Plus Funkt*If*I*No All-Star DJs Admission £8. (023) 9286 3911.

DANCING

RAKE: Village Hall. 7.45pm-11pm. Liss Sequence Dance Club. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission £4. (01730) 892570.

EVENTS

FAREHAM: West Street pedestrianised precinct. 9am-2pm. Farmers’ Market. Sample before you buy from the people who actually produce, and taste the difference in quality whilst supporting your local farming and rural community.

GOSPORT: Local and Naval Studies Centre, High Street. 10am-midday. Balloon Modelling Workshop. A drop-in workshop for any age, no need to book. £1 for materials. 11am-11.30am. Birthday Story Time for Under-Fives. Come along and listen to some birthday stories and join us for a piece of birthday cake at 12.15pm. Free, no need to book. (023) 9252 3463.

HAVANT: Staunton, Middle Park Way, Leigh Park. 10am-4pm. Butterfly House. Watch the butterflies take part in courtship flights and feed from plant nectar and fruit. (023) 9245 3405.

HAVANT: The Meeting Place, Havant United Reformed Church, Elm Lane. 7pm. Eating Well Together. Come and share a meal cooked with fairtrade ingredients and hear about fairtrade and climate change. Tickets £6 or £12 per family. (023) 9225 0267, portsmouthfairtrade.org.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 10.30am-3pm. Unique Makers’ Market. Handmade art, craft and food market. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

OLD PORTSMOUTH: Technology Department, Portsmouth Grammar School, High Street. 10am-4pm. Solent Guild of Woodcarvers and Sculptors Carve-in. All welcome. (023) 9259 9153 for further information.

PORTCHESTER: Portchester Community School, White Hart Lane. Midday-4.30pm. Spring Orchid Show. Large display of orchids, plus orchids and sundries for sale, re-potting demonstrations, technical information, etc. Bring your sick plant, let us re-pot it, from £1. Organised by the Wessex Orchid Society. Admission £2, concs. (01329) 285160.

PORTSMOUTH: Admiral Lord Nelson School, Dundas Lane. 10am-1pm. Mother and Baby Event. Everything for expectant mums, babies and under-10s. (023) 9266 6188.

PORTSMOUTH: St Cuthbert’s Church, Lichfield Road, Copnor. 3.30pm-5.30pm. Messy Church. A fun-packed event for families, involving art and craft, games, worship and a shared meal. Everyone’s welcome, young and old! It’s all free, but children must be accompanied by an adult.

SOUTHSEA: St Swithun’s Church Hall, Waverley Road. (PO5 2PL). 12.30pm-3.30pm. Southsea Flea Market. Offering retro clothes, collectables, furniture, jewellery, etc. 07817 393 049.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 1pm-4.15pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Gwenda Stephens. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-4pm. Matisse Drawing with Scissors, Late Works 1950-1954. The exhibition features 35 lithographic reproductions of the famous cut-outs, produced in the last four years of his life. Free admission. (023) 9252 3463.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

FILMS

PORTSMOUTH: No 6 Cinema, Boathouse 6, Historic Dockyard. Lincoln (12A); 7pm. US, 2012. Directed by Steven Spielberg. Starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and John Hawkes. Admission £7.50, concs. 07435 029 408, no6cinema.co.uk.

GIGS

FAREHAM: Fareham WMC, Mill Road. Amanda Russell: Celine Dion and Diva Extravaganza.

FAREHAM: Hill Park MWM Club. Cream of Clapton. Tribute night.

HAVANT: AMF Bowling, Portsdown Hill Road (PO9 3NA). 7.45pm. Big Tribute Day. Featuring: The Five Beats (60s, 70s, 80s); Namaqua (rock covers) and The Delicate Sound of Floyd (Pink Floyd). Admission £4.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 8pm. Slim Chance. Admission £12.50, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Cellars at Eastney, 56, Cromwell Road. 7.30pm. Pompey Modfest IV. Mod. (023) 9282 6249, thecellars.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. The Steve Young Band. rmatavern.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: The Connaught Arms, Guildford Road, Fratton. 8pm. Disco/Karaoke. Theme: the 70s (fancy dress). 07788 558 176.

PORTSMOUTH: The Eastfield, Prince Albert Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. Kenny Mayes.

PORTSMOUTH: The Old House at Home, 104, Locksway Road, Milton. 8.30pm. The Fliks. Girl-fronted 60s band.

ROGATE: Village Hall, North Street. 7pm doors for 8pm. Kentucky Cousins. Presented by Oakgate CMC. (01730) 892498.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Brook, 466, Portswood Road. 8pm doors. Hairforce 5, plus Black Candy and Lock n Load. Admission: £8 advance, £9 door. (023) 8055 5366.

SOUTHSEA: Jolly Sailor, 54, Clarence Road. 8.30pm. Bemis. (023) 9229 5195.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. 9pm. Skunk Funk. Funk/soul covers band. (023) 9282 1658.

STAGE

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 2.30pm, 8pm. Sebastian Faulks’ Birdsong. Adapted by Rachel Wagstaff. Directed by Alastair Whatley. Admission: £20.50-£26.50, concs. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

HASLEMERE: Haslemere Hall, Bridge Street. 7.30pm. Mendelssohn’s Elijah. Performed by Haslemere Musical Society. (01428) 642161 for further details.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 11am. An Expedition to The Great Exhibition. Suitable for children and young people with disabilities and/or additional needs. Admission £5 (the cost includes entry for up to four people/family members). (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Groundlings Theatre at The Old Benny, 42, Kent Street, Portsea. 7.30pm. A Night to Remember. A trip down memory lane to the 1940s Portsmouth during World War Two. Don’t forget your 1940s glad rags. Admission: £6.50, concs. (023) 9273 7370. groundlings.co.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 2.30pm, 7.30pm. The Sleeping Beauty. Presented by English National Ballet. Admission: £10-£45. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 2.30pm, 7.30pm. Strike Up The Band. 1927 version presented by the University of Portsmouth Dramatic and Musical Society. Admission £12, concs. (023) 9282 8282.

WALKS & TALKS

LONDON: meet Petersfield Town Railway Station, 8.25am for 8.48 train to Waterloo. Petersfield Ramblers Club Walk. A nine-mile London walk from Liverpool underground station, via Brick Lane, Hackney City Farm, Regents Canal and the Thames Path. (01730) 263367.

SUNDAY, MARCH 3

EVENTS

FAREHAM: Fareham WMC, Mill Road. Sunday is bingo and quiz night.

FAREHAM: Hill Park MWM Club. Evening bingo and quiz night in the lounge.

HAVANT: Staunton, Middle Park Way, Leigh Park. 10am-4pm. Butterfly House. Watch the butterflies take part in courtship flights and feed from plant nectar and fruit. (023) 9245 3405.

HORNDEAN: Queen Elizabeth Country Park Visitor Centre, Gravel Hill. 10am-3pm. Crafts in the Park. Featuring a mix of art, crafts and home produce. (023) 9259 5040, hants.gov.uk/countryside/qecp.htm.

PETERSFIELD: Market Square. 10am-2pm. Hampshire Farmers’ Market. Enjoy the taste of local food.

PORTSMOUTH: StAlban’s Church, Copnor Road, Copnor. 10.30am. Commemorating the Baptism of Charles Dickens (March 4, 1812). The font which was at Portsea Parish Church is now in St Alban’s. The short service will include readigns from The Life of our Lord by Charles Dickens. (023) 9266 4205.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 1pm-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Sue Harvey. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

FILMS

HAMBLEDON: Village Hall. Quartet (12A) 7.30pm doors for 8pm. Directed by Dustin Hoffman. Starring: Michael Gambon, Maggie Smith, Billy Connolly, Pauline Collins and Sheridan Smith. Admission: £5. (023) 9263 2800.

GIGS

CHICHESTER: Bull’s Head, 99, Fishbourne Road, Fishbourne. 8.15pm-11pm. Milton James Duo and Friends. Traditional jazz band. (01243) 839895.

PORTSMOUTH: Blue Lagoon, Hilsea Lido, London Road, Hilsea12.30pm-2.40pm. Dave Pearson’s Big Band Orchestra. (023) , 9266 2440.

PORTSMOUTH: Cellars at Eastney, 56, Cromwell Road. 7.30pm. Si Cranstoun. Retro. (023) 9282 6249, thecellars.co.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Jolly Sailor, 54, Clarence Road. The Fabulous Rachael Hawnt. (023) 9229 5195.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Sharon Shannon. Admission £17.50. (023) 9282 8282.

SOUTHSEA: Lawrence Arms, Lawrence Road. 7pm. Arrows Karaoke

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 8pm. Willy Mason. Plus special guests: The Mariner’s Children and Siobhan Wilson. Admission: £12.50. (023) 9286 3911.

STAGE

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 7.30pm. Brendan Cole: Licence to Thrill. Featuring a cast of 20 musicians and dancers. Admission: £27.50-£32.50. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 10.30am, 1.30pm. Spot’s Birthday Party. Come dressed for a party and make a birthday card for Spot. Admission £13. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

MONDAY, MARCH 4

COMEDY

PETERSFIELD: Folly Wine and Ale House, 7-10, Folly Market. 6pm doors for 8.30pm. Mirth Control Stand-up Comedy. Featuring: Christian Reilly, Iszi Lawrence and Jonny Freeman. MC Lloyd Griffith. Admission: £6 in advance, £7 on door. (01730) 264816.

CONCERTS

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 7.30pm. Badke Quartet. Featuring: Lana Trotovsek (violin), Jonathan Byers (cello), Jon Thorne (viola) and Emma Parker (violin). Admission £15, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

DANCING

COSHAM: Cosham Community Centre, Wootton Street. 7.30pm-10pm. M&M Modern Sequence Dance Club. All welcome to this modern sequence club. Admission £2.50. (023) 9271 0060.

GOSPORT: Thorngate Halls, Bury Road. 1.30pm-4pm. Tea Dance. Admission £2 (inc tea/biscuits).

PORTSMOUTH: St James’ Hospital Entertainments Hall, Locksway Road, Milton. 7.30pm-10.15pm. Ballroom, Latin American and Sequence Dance. Dancing with Elaine Hardy. All welcome. BYO refreshments. Admission £3.50. (023) 9235 5388, 07732 968 236.

EVENTS

PAULSGROVE: Paulsgrove Community Centre, Marsden Road. 1.15pm-2.45pm. Connors Toy Library. For play, friendships, socialising, toy loan, craft and other activities. Admission £2 per family per week.

PORTSMOUTH: Buckland Community Centre, Malins Road. 10.30am-12.45pm. Spiritual Healing Clinic. No appointment necessary. Admission by donation. (023) 9269 3169.

PORTSMOUTH: Fratton Community Centre, Trafalgar Place (off Clive Road). 10.30am-midday. New Age Kurling. Friendly competitive fun with gentle exercise. All welcome. Admission: £2.50 session. (023) 9278 0500.

PORTSMOUTH: St Mark’s Church Hall Committee Room, Derby Road, North End. 10am-midday. The Young at Heart Club, a club for the over 50s. Come along for chat, quizzes, raffles, activities and speakers, with tea/coffee.

SOUTHSEA: Havelock Centre, Fawcett Road. 9.30am-11.30am. Connors Toy Library. For play, friendships, socialising, toy loan, craft and other activities. Admission £2 per family per week.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Sue Harvey. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-4pm. Matisse Drawing with Scissors, Late Works 1950-1954. The exhibition features 35 lithographic reproductions of the famous cut-outs, produced in the last four years of his life. Free admission. (023) 9252 3463.

GIGS

NORTH BOARHUNT: North Boarhunt Social Club, Trampers Lane. 7.45pm-11pm. Forest Folk. Featuring: a singaround. All welcome. Admission free with jug collection. (023) 9226 4288 info@forestfolk.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Cellars at Eastney, 56, Cromwell Road. 7pm. Sharon Shannon (duo show). Folk. (023) 9282 6249, thecellars.co.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Codes in the Clouds. Plus special guests: Monsters Build Mean Robots and Waking Charred. Admission £3. (023) 9286 3911.

STAGE

FAREHAM: Ferneham Hall, Osborn Road. 7.30pm. The Irish House Party. Starring All Ireland champion musicians. Admission £19.50. (01329) 231942, fernehamhall.co.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Pieces of Eight. Find out what pirates were really like in this family-friendly show. Performed by people who have learning difficulties. (023) 9282 8282.

WALKS & TALKS

EAST MEON: East Meon Village Hall, Workhouse Lane (GU32 1PD). 7.15pm for 7.30pm. Monet: his home and garden at Giverny. Talk by Jennifer Carter, organised by the East Meon Garden Club. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission £1. eastmeongardenclub.com.

PORTSMOUTH: meet The Bridge Centre, Fratton Road. 10.30am. Victoria Park Walk. Buggy and wheelchair friendly walk. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SOUTHSEA: meet South Parade Pier. 1pm. Pier to Pier Walk. Ideal for buggies and wheelchairs. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SOUTHSEA: meet South Parade Pier. 7.30pm. Eastney Seafront Walk. An evening stroll along the seafront towards Eastney, returning via Eastern Parade. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

PETERSFIELD: Community Centre, Love Lane. 7.30pm. Petersfield and District Philatelic Society Annual General Meeting. Visitors and new members welcome. petersfieldstamps.hampshire.org.uk.

TUESDAY, MARCH 5

DANCING

LISS: Village Hall. 8pm-10.15pm. Liss Sequence Dance Club. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission £3. (01730) 892570.

TITCHFIELD: Titchfield Community Centre, Mill Street. 1.30pm-4pm. Tea Dance. Admission £2 (inc tea/biscuits).

EVENTS

PORTSMOUTH: Eastney Community Centre, Bransbury Park. 9.15am-11am. Connors Toy Library. For play, friendships, socialising, toy loan, craft and other activities. Admission £2 per family per week.

PORTSMOUTH: Fratton Community Centre, Trafalgar Place (off Clive Road). 2pm-4pm. Knit and Natter. Friendly group of beginners and experienced knitters. Just turn up and give it a go. Just £1 a session. (023) 9278 0500.

PORTSMOUTH: St Francis Church, Northern Parade, Hilsea. 12.30pm-2.30pm. Connors Toy Library. For play, friendships, socialising, toy loan, craft and other activities. Admission £2 per family per week.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Sue Harvey. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-4pm. Matisse Drawing with Scissors, Late Works 1950-1954. The exhibition features 35 lithographic reproductions of the famous cut-outs, produced in the last four years of his life. Free admission. (023) 9252 3463.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

FILMS

PORTSMOUTH: The Portsmouth Film Society, Omega Centre, Omega Street (PO5 4LP). Growing Change (n/a), 6pm; Australia/Venezuela, 2011. Documentary directed by Simon Cunich. Circumstance (15), 8pm; Iran/France, 2011. Documentary directed by Maryam Keshavarz. (023) 9229 1346, portsmouthfilmsociety.org.uk.

WINCHESTER: Everyman Cinema, The Screen, Southgate Street. Dreams of a Life (12A); 8.15pm for 8.30pm. UK, 2011. Documentary directed by Carol Morley. A portrait of loneliness that can only happen in the big city. winchesterfilmsociety.co.uk.

GIGS

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 8pm. Hazel O’Connor: Breaking Glass Barefoot Tour. Admission £15, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. Lounge @ The RMA. Acoustic showcase night. rmatavern.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: The Barn, Milton Arms, Milton Road. Drum Nation. Drummers of all levels welcome. (023) 9221 0437.

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Nupogodi. Plus special guests: Rilke and Black Anchor. Admission £4. (023) 9286 3911.

SOUTHSEA: Little Johnny Russells, Albert Road. Nick Courtney presents ... Olivia Greenham, 7pm; Joe Booley, 7.30pm; Sasha Mattissen, 8pm; Eloise Keating, 8.30pm; Van Susans, 9pm; Kayleigh Middleton, 9.30pm; Ashley Scrace, 10pm; Dillon, 10.30pm-11pm.

STAGE

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 7.45pm. Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Presented by Custom/Practice and TEG Productions. Admission: £18.50-£24.50, concs. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 7.30pm. The Blues Brothers. They are back and on a mission! Admission: £15-£25.50. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

STAGE

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Pieces of Eight. Find out what pirates were really like in this family-friendly show. Performed by people who have learning difficulties. (023) 9282 8282.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 7.30pm. Welcome Home and Raspberry. A Tony Marchant double bill: two short, moving and life affirming plays. Admission £15, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

WALKS & TALKS

PORTCHESTER: Portchester Methodist Church, Castle Street. 7.30pm. Wills in Tudor Portchester. Talk by Bryan Jerrard, organised by The Portchester Society. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission by donation of £1 per head.

PORTSMOUTH: meet Buckland Community Centre, Malins Road. 10.30am. Stamshaw Foreshore Walk. Healthy walk with views to Portchester Castle. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

PORTSMOUTH: meet outside Civic Offices, Guildhall Square. 12.15pm. Lunchtime Walk. Take a break with this brisk walk to Gunwharf or Southsea and back. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SOUTH HARTING: Uppark House and Garden (GU31 5QR). 10.30am. Lecture Lunch: Oh Mr Porter! Railway Humour. An affectionate look, with Roger Clark, at the old railways of rural Sussex. All tickets, £22.50, booking essential. (01730) 825857.