What’s On for Saturday September 1, 2012

SHORT STORY FOR THE WEEKEND: Red Noir by Richard Salsbury

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A guide to what’s on in Portsmouth, Fareham, Gosport, Havant, Waterlooville and the rest of south east Hampshire.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1

COMEDY

PORTSMOUTH: Tiger Tiger Portsmouth, Gunwharf Quays. 6pm doors for 8pm-10pm (last entry 7.45pm). Jongleurs Comedy Night. Tonight’s line up includes Mark Oliver, Ria Lina and Toju. Admission £15. (023) 9288 2244.

DANCING

RAKE: Village Hall. 7.45pm-11pm. Liss Sequence Dance Club. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission £4. (01730) 892570.

EVENTS

CLANFIELD: Memorial Hall, South Lane. 6pm-8pm. Clanfield Gardening Club Pre-Show Staging of Exhibits. clanfieldgardeningclub.org.uk.

EMSWORTH: Emsworth Community Centre, Church Path. 10am-1pm. Emsworth Crafts. A group of designer/makers living in Hampshire and West Sussex offer a wide variety of goods for sale. Refreshments available. emsworthcrafts.co.uk.

FAREHAM: Catisfield Memorial Hall, Catisfield Lane, Catisfield. 1.30pm-4pm. The Catisfield Horticultural Society Autumn Show. All welcome. (01329) 312269 or catisfield.com/CHS.

FAREHAM: Palmerston Indoor Bowling Club, Palmerston Drive, Palmerston Business Park, Newgate Lane. 10am-3pm. Free Bowls Open Day. Total beginners, novices and experienced bowlers are very welcome to come along and try their hand at indoor bowling. (01329) 232 005, palmerston-indoorbowls.co.uk.

FAREHAM: Royal Armouries, Fort Nelson, Portsdown Hill Road. 10am-5pm. The World at Fort Nelson. Discover how many countries are represented in our collection. Also Fort Nelson in WW2. Themed activities for all the family. (01329) 233734.

FAREHAM: West Street pedestrianised precinct. 9am-2pm. Farmers’ Market. Sample before you buy from the people who actually produce, and taste the difference in quality whilst supporting your local farming and rural community. Discover the history of Fareham Markets, with Westbury Manor Museum. Music entertainment by Shenanigans.

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 9am-4pm. Maltings’ Monthly Market. Around 200 stalls to browse. Admission 50p. (01252) 745444.

FARNHAM: Rural Life Centre, Old Kiln Museum, Reeds Road, Tilford. Weyfest. The family-friendly festival returns with its mix of music and fun. See weyfest.co.uk for further details. (01252) 795571 or rurallife.plus.com/rlc.

GOSPORT: meet Explosion Museum of Naval Firepower Coffee Shop, Priddys Hard. 1pm. New Ramparts Tour. A tour of the Ramparts with local historian Terry Hinkley. Not suitable for under-12s. Sensible footwear must be worn.

GREATHAM: Village Hall. 3pm. Greatham Gardeners Club Summer Show.

HAVANT: meet outside The Spring, East Street. 9.15am. Cycle ride to Trotton and Haslemere. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 10.30am. Storytelling Session. Every child loves a story. In this session the childrne become involved and join in with the actions. For four to eight year olds. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

HAYLING ISLAND: Community Centre, The Park, Station Road. Hayling Island Horticultural Society Main Summer Show: Dahlias and Horticulture. Dahlias, other flowers, pot plants, fruit, vegetables, salads, junior classes, cookery, heaviest and longest competition, photography and floral art. Tombola, plants, books and afternoon teas with home-made cakes. Opens 1.30pm for disabled; 2pm for the general public. Admission: £1. haylingislandhorticulturalsociety.org.uk.

HORNDEAN: Butser Ancient Farm (Chalton/ Clanfield turnoff on A3). 10am-5pm. Roman Weekend. Come and see what life would have been like in our Roman Villa. Activities and demonstrations to help you to understand the Romans. (023) 9259 8838, or butserancientfarm.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Boathouse Six, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am. Tour of Boathouse Six. Enjoy a detailed and informative behind the scenes tour. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: HMS Victory, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am, 11.45am, 1.30pm, 3pm. Below HMS Victory’s Water Line. Walk under 3,500 tonnes of ship and view Victory’s keel at close range. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: National Museum of the Royal Navy, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am, 11.45am, 1.30pm, 3pm. Behind the Scenes. Enjoy a tour of artefact and archive stores with one of our curators. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: Porter’s Lodge, Historic Dockyard. 1pm. Porter’s Lodge and Garden Tour. Take a guided tour of the dockyard’s oldest building (1708) and the adjoining garden. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORT SOLENT: meet Playground. 11am-4pm. Port Solent Kidz Club: David Croft’s Balloon Modelling Workshop. Learn how to model balloons from the best balloon modeller in the country! (023) 9221 0606, portsolent.com for further details.

SOUTHSEA: Southsea Common. 4pm gates for 5pm. The Extreme Stunt Show. extremestuntshow.com.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 1pm-5pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Val Carter who paints in a variety of media and genre. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

EMSWORTH: Museum, 10b, North Street. 10.30am-4.30pm. Emsworth People Through Seven Decades. A thorough and fascinating picture of Emsworth, its people, businesses and buildings in the 19th century. (01243) 373780, emsworthmuseum.co.uk.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

HORNDEAN: Queen Elizabeth Country Park Visitor Centre, Gravel Hill. 10am-5.30pm. John Robinson Watercolours. Paintings of variety of subject matter, but the majority are of local scenes, especially the Downs.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

GIGS

EMSWORTH: Coal Exchange, 21, South Street. Midday-6pm. Coalie Fest. (01243) 375866.

FAREHAM: Hill Park MWM Club. NSPCC Charity Night. Featuring Shenanigans plus Disco.

FAREHAM: The Limes, Catisfield Lane, Catisfield. 7.30pm doors for 8pm. The Village Folk Club. Featuring Gary Wilson. Admission: £7. (01329) 512106.

PORTSMOUTH: Old Canal, Shirley Avenue, Milton. 8.30pm. Tony Lane.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home, Locksway Road, Milton. 9pm-11pm. Aviv.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. The Micky Kemp Band. rmatavern.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Surrey Arms, 1-3, Surrey Street (PO1 1JT). 9pm. Karaoke with PJ.

PORTSMOUTH: The Barn, Milton Arms, Milton Road. 7.30pm-late. 808 State and Bez Happy Monday. Admission £15. (023) 9221 0437.

ROGATE: Village Hall, North Street. 7pm doors for 8pm. Garry Blackmore. Presented by Oakgate CMC. (01730) 892498.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: The Fountain, 34, The Green. 8.30pm. Rock Solid.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Brook, 466, Portswood Road. 8pm doors. Mica Paris. Admission: £15 advance, £17 door. (023) 8055 5366.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. 9pm. Doghouse. Rockparty band. (023) 9282 1658.

SOUTHSEA: The Rifle Club, Goldsmith Avenue. 7.30pm doors. 80s Night feauring The Neurythmics. Plus DJ Rob Moore. Admission £5. (023) 9235 5245, therifleclub.com.

STAGE

CHICHESTER: Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park. 2.15pm, 7.30pm. Kiss Me Kate. Music and lyrics by Cole Porter. Book by Sam and Bella Spewack. Director Trevor Nunn. Choreographer Stephen Mear. Admission: £15-£40. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 2.30pm. Absurd Person Singular. Comedy by Alan Ayckbourn. Admission: £29.50. 7.45pm. Surprises. A new comedy by Alan Ayckbourn. Admission: £29.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 2.30pm, 8pm. The Rise and Fall of Little Voice. Comedy written and directed by Jim Cartwright. Starring Beverley Callard, Ray Quinn, Joe McGann, Duggie Brown and Jess Robinson. Admission: £15-£26.50, concs. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Southsea Common. 3pm, 7.45pm. Moscow State Circus.

SOUTHSEA: St Peter’s Theatre, Fraser Road. 7.30pm. Decades: Greatest Hits. A musical compilation presented by the PRAT Pack in aid of St John’s Ambulance. 0845 293 9350.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 7.30pm. Thoroughly Modern Millie. Presented by RicNic. Admission: £14, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

WALKS & TALKS

SELBORNE: meet EHDC car park (GR SU742335). 10am. Petersfield Ramblers Club Walk. A six-mile walk. Cars leave Petersfield Town Station at 9.30am. All welcome. (01730) 269253.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2

EVENTS

CLANFIELD: Memorial Hall, South Lane. 8am-10am. Clanfield Gardening Club Pre-Show Staging of Exhibits. 2pm. Clanfield Gardening Club Annual Show. clanfieldgardeningclub.org.uk..

COSHAM: meet outside Cosham Library, Spur Road. 9.30am. Cycle ride to Compton, Fishbourne (rally) and Rowlands Castle. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

FAREHAM: Royal Armouries, Fort Nelson, Portsdown Hill Road. 10am-5pm. The World at Fort Nelson. Discover how many countries are represented in our collection. Also Fort Nelson in WW2. Themed activities for all the family. (01329) 233734.

FARNHAM: Rural Life Centre, Old Kiln Museum, Tilford. 8am-midday. Car Boot Sale. Entrance to the car boot sale is free to buyers. Also Weyfest. The family-friendly festival returns with its mix of music and fun. See weyfest.co.uk for further details. (01252) 795571 or rurallife.plus.com/rlc.

HORNDEAN: Butser Ancient Farm (Chalton/ Clanfield turnoff on A3). 10am-5pm. Roman Weekend. Come and see what life would have been like in our Roman Villa. Activities and demonstrations to help you to understand the Romans. (023) 9259 8838, or butserancientfarm.co.uk.

PETERSFIELD: Market Square. 10am-2pm. Hampshire Farmers’ Market. Enjoy the taste of local food.

PORTSMOUTH: Boathouse Six, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am. Tour of Boathouse Six. Enjoy a detailed and informative behind the scenes tour. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: Bransbury Park, Eastney. 2pm-5pm. Miniature Railway Rides. Portsmouth Model Engineering Society members offer rides on steam and battery-powered locomotives (weather permitting). Rides are 40p for two laps. portsmouthmes.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: College Park, Copnor Road. 10am-midday. Free Trial Bowling Session. Try your hand at lawn green bowls. Organised by the Co-operative Bowls Club. All welcome. Must have flat-soled shoes. (023) 9265 4320.

PORTSMOUTH: HMS Victory, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am, 11.45am, 1.30pm, 3pm. Below HMS Victory’s Water Line. Walk under 3,500 tonnes of ship and view Victory’s keel at close range. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: National Museum of the Royal Navy, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am, 11.45am, 1.30pm, 3pm. Behind the Scenes. Enjoy a tour of artefact and archive stores with one of our curators. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: Porter’s Lodge, Historic Dockyard. 1pm. Porter’s Lodge and Garden Tour. Take a guided tour of the dockyard’s oldest building (1708) and the adjoining garden. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

SOUTHSEA: Southsea Common. 2pm gates for 3pm. The Extreme Stunt Show. extremestuntshow.com.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 1m-4.15pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Fareham Art Group. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

EMSWORTH: Museum, 10b, North Street. 2.30pm-4.30pm. Emsworth People Through Seven Decades. A thorough and fascinating picture of Emsworth, its people, businesses and buildings in the 19th century. (01243) 373780, emsworthmuseum.co.uk.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

HORNDEAN: Queen Elizabeth Country Park Visitor Centre, Gravel Hill. 10am-5.30pm. John Robinson Watercolours. Paintings of variety of subject matter, but the majority are of local scenes, especially the Downs.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

GIGS

CHICHESTER: Bull’s Head, 99, Fishbourne Road, Fishbourne. 8.15pm-11pm. Milton James Duo and Friends. Traditional jazz band. (01243) 839895.

EMSWORTH: Coal Exchange, 21, South Street. Midday-6pm. Coalie Fest. (01243) 375866.

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 3pm. Davey Arthur and Friends in concert. Admission: £10 in advance, £12 on door. (01252) 745444.

PORTSMOUTH: Groundlings Theatre at The Old Benny, Curzon Howe Road, Portsea. 8pm-11pm. Tongues and Grooves on Tour. Featuring Paul Birtill and Mike Loveday. Music with Walker Broad. Arrive early to book an open mic spot. 07775 244 573, tongues-and-grooves.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home, Locksway Road, Milton. 7pm-10pm. Open Mic/ Karaoke. Featuring and hosted by Matt McGowan. Everyone is welcome to simply turn up and perform a few songs.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Brook, 466, Portswood Road. 7.30pm doors. Sound of the C. The finest up and coming band from Southampton and beyond. Could be the next big thing! Admission: £6 advance, £7 door. (023) 8055 5366.

SOUTHSEA: Lawrence Arms, Lawrence Road. 7pm. Arrows Karaoke.

SOUTHSEA: Marmion Tavern, Marmion Road. 5pm-8pm. Mitchell.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. 9pm. Two Magoos. Rock duo. (023) 9282 1658.

STAGE

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Song and Dance 2012. The best of Portsmouth’s local professional and community talent come together for an evening of song and dance. Hosted by Alan Jenkins and Chris Marlowe. Admission £9.50-£13.50. (023) 9282 8282.

SOUTHSEA: Southsea Common. 2pm, 5pm. Moscow State Circus.

SOUTHSEA: St Peter’s Theatre, Fraser Road. 7.30pm. Decades: Greatest Hits. A musical compilation presented by the PRAT Pack in aid of St John’s Ambulance. 0845 293 9350.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 3

COMEDY

PETERSFIELD: Folly Wine and Ale House, 7-10, Folly Market. 6pm doors for 8.30pm. Mirth Control Stand-up Comedy. Featuring: Tim Clark, Michael Fabbri, James Gill and Jonny Freeman. MC: Geoff Whiting. Admission £6 in advance, £7 on door. (01730) 264816.

DANCING

COSHAM: Cosham Community Centre, Wootton Street. 7.30pm-10pm. M&M Modern Sequence Dance Club. All welcome to this modern sequence club. (023) 9271 0060.

GOSPORT: Thorngate Halls, Bury Road. 1.30pm-4pm. Tea Dance. Admission £2 (inc tea/biscuits).

PORTSMOUTH: St James’ Hospital Entertainments Hall, Locksway Road. 7.30pm-10.15pm. Ballroom, Latin American and Sequence Dance. Dancing with Elaine Hardy. All welcome. BYO refreshments. Admission £3. (023) 9235 5388, 07732 968 236.

EVENTS

COSHAM: Cosham Conservative Club, Spur Road. 7.30pm. Cosham Phoenix Social Club. For anyone over 60. Music with DJ, and other varied events. New members welcome. (023) 9269 1740 or 9237 0030.

PETERSFIELD: Community Centre, Love Lane. 7.30pm. Petersfield and District Philatelic Society Meeting. With an illustrated talk by Mike Hill: A 19th Century Middle Class Crisis. Visitors and new members welcome. petersfieldstamps.hampshire.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Boathouse Six, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am. Tour of Boathouse Six. Enjoy a detailed and informative behind the scenes tour. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: Fratton Community Centre, Trafalgar Place (off Clive Road). 10.30am-midday. New Age Kurling. Fun, plus exercise. All welcome. Admission: £2.50. (023) 9278 0500.

PORTSMOUTH: HMS Victory, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am, 11.45am, 1.30pm, 3pm. Below HMS Victory’s Water Line. Walk under 3,500 tonnes of ship and view Victory’s keel at close range. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: HMS Warrior 1860, Historic Dockyard. 11am, 1pm. Warrior’s First Captain. Find out more about the Honourable Arthur Auckland Leopold Pedro Cochrane who was the first to command HMS Warrior (1861-1864). Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

SOUTHSEA: Southsea Common. 6.30pm gates for 7.30pm. The Extreme Stunt Show. extremestuntshow.com.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Fareham Art Group. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

HORNDEAN: Queen Elizabeth Country Park Visitor Centre, Gravel Hill. 10am-5.30pm. John Robinson Watercolours. Paintings of variety of subject matter, but the majority are of local scenes, especially the Downs.

GIGS

NORTH BOARHUNT: North Boarhunt Social Club, Trampers Lane. 7.45pm-11pm. Forest Folk. Featuring: a singaround. All welcome. Admission free with jug collection. (023) 9226 4288 info@forestfolk.co.uk.

STAGE

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.45pm. Surprises. A new comedy by Alan Ayckbourn. Admission: £29.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 7.45pm. The Rise and Fall of Little Voice. Comedy written and directed by Jim Cartwright. Starring Beverley Callard, Ray Quinn, Joe McGann, Duggie Brown and Jess Robinson. Admission: £15-£26.50, concs. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 7.30pm. Cabaret. Come to the Cabaret – it’s divine decadence darling!. Admission: £17.50-£45. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

WALKS & TALKS

PETERSFIELD: Community Centre, Love Lane. 7.30pm. Petersfield and District Philatelic Society Meeting. With an illustrated talk by Mike Hill: A 19th Century Middle Class Crisis. Visitors and new members welcome. petersfieldstamps.hampshire.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: meet The Bridge Centre, Fratton Road. 10.30am. Victoria Park Walk. Buggy and wheelchair friendly walk. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SOUTHSEA: meet South Parade Pier. 1pm. Pier to Pier Walk. Ideal for buggies and wheelchairs. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SOUTHSEA: meet South Parade Pier. 7.30pm. Eastney Seafront Walk. An evening stroll along the seafront towards Eastney, returning via Eastern Parade. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4

DANCING

LISS: Village Hall. 8pm-10.15pm. Liss Sequence Dance Club. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission £3. (01730) 892570.

TITCHFIELD: Titchfield Community Centre, Mill Street. 1.30pm-4pm. Tea Dance. Admission £2 (inc tea/biscuits).

EVENTS

PORTSMOUTH: Boathouse Four, Historic Dockyard. 11am, 2pm. Tour of Boathouse Four. Learn about the fascinating history of the boathouse from secret WWII preparation work to its present-day use as a site for restoration of our historic boat collection. Free, but places must be booked in advance. Sensible footwear must be worn. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: Boathouse Six, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am. Tour of Boathouse Six. Enjoy a detailed and informative behind the scenes tour. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: Fratton Community Centre, Trafalgar Place (off Clive Road). 2pm-4pm. Knit and Natter. Friendly group of beginners and experienced knitters. Just turn up and give it a go. (023) 9278 0500.

PORTSMOUTH: HMS Victory, Historic Dockyard. 10.30am, 11.45am, 1.30pm, 3pm. Below HMS Victory’s Water Line. Walk under 3,500 tonnes of ship and view Victory’s keel at close range. Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: HMS Warrior 1860, Historic Dockyard. 11am, 1pm. Warrior’s First Captain. Find out more about the Honourable Arthur Auckland Leopold Pedro Cochrane who was the first to command HMS Warrior (1861-1864). Free, but places must be booked in advance. (023) 9283 9766, option three.

PORTSMOUTH: St Cuthbert’s Church Centre, Hayling Avenue, Copnor. 9.30am-12.30pam. Coffee and cakes, chat and toasties, arts and crafts plus stories and songs. For the tinies, run by young mothers.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Fareham Art Group. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

HORNDEAN: Queen Elizabeth Country Park Visitor Centre, Gravel Hill. 10am-5.30pm. John Robinson Watercolours. Paintings of variety of subject matter, but the majority are of local scenes, especially the Downs.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

GIGS

PORTSMOUTH: Front Bar, Milton Arms, Milton Road. Open Mic Night. Musicians of all levels welcome. (023) 9221 0437.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. Lounge@The RMA. Acoustic showcase night. rmatavern.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: The Barn, Milton Arms, Milton Road. 8pm-midnight. Drum Nation. Drummers of all levels welcome. (023) 9221 0437.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: The Fountain, 34, The Green. 8.30pm. Herbie Armstrong and friends Open Mic Night. All welcome.

SOUTHSEA: Little Johnny Russells, Albert Road. 7.30pm-11pm. Nick Courtney presents ... White Wolf’s Wondering, 7.30pm-8pm; Ben Farrant, 8.30pm; Matt Jarvis, 9pm; The Vinewood Rollers, 9.30pm; Danny Wright, 10pm; Tim Somerfield, 10.30pm-11pm.

STAGE

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.45pm. Absurd Person Singular. Comedy by Alan Ayckbourn. Admission: £29.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

HAYLING ISLAND: Station Theatre, Station Road, West Town. 7.45pm. For the Love of Undine. Starring: Belinda Evans, Alistair Merry, Adrian Green, Melanie Lodge, Ian Jervis and Ian Wilson-Pope. Admission £10. (023) 9246 6363.

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 7.45pm. The Rise and Fall of Little Voice. Comedy written and directed by Jim Cartwright. Starring Beverley Callard, Ray Quinn, Joe McGann, Duggie Brown and Jess Robinson. Admission: £15-£26.50, concs. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 7.30pm. Cabaret. Come to the Cabaret – it’s divine decadence darling!. Admission: £17.50-£45. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

WALKS & TALKS

PORTSMOUTH: meet Baffins Community Centre, Westover Road, Copnor. 10.30am. Walk with Friends. Two/three mile walk. WFH accredited. All ages and abilities welcome. New walkers please arrive early to register. (023) 9286 3224.

PORTSMOUTH: meet Buckland Community Centre, Malins Road. 10.30am. Stamshaw Foreshore Walk. Healthy walk with views to Portchester Castle. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

PORTSMOUTH: meet outside Civic Offices, Guildhall Square. 12.15pm. Lunchtime Walk. Take a break with this brisk walk to Gunwharf or Southsea and back. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.