What’s On for Thursday July 26, 2012

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A guide to what’s on in Portsmouth, Fareham, Gosport, Havant, Waterlooville and the rest of south east Hampshire.

THURSDAY, JULY 26

COMEDY

GOSPORT: Alverbank Hotel, Stokes Bay Road, Stokes Bay. Jokes Bay Comedy Club. Featuring: Sean Collins, Tom Wrigglesworth and John Archer. Over 18s only. Admission £12-£16 (with food). (023) 9251 0005.

EVENTS

DENMEAD: All Saints Church car park, Hambledon Road. 9am-midday. Focus4 Car Boot Sale. Bookings: (023) 9225 2507.

FAREHAM: Royal Armouries, Fort Nelson, Portsdown Hill Road. 10am-5pm. Victorian Fort Nelson. Themed activities for all the family. Also The World at Fort Nelson. Discover how many countries are represented in our collection. (01329) 233734.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 11am-3pm. Submarine Kids Bookfest: Hooray for Heroes. Come aboard for some wordy play. Meet best-selling author John Dougherty, get crafty, see puppets and hear stories for extra family summer fun. (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

HAVANT: meet outside The Spring, East Street. 7pm. Evening cycle ride to Bluebell, Emsworth. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Fratton Community Centre, Trafalgar Place (off Clive Road). 2pm-4pm. Over 60s Friendship Club. With lots of different activities each week. Admission: £2.50. (023) 9278 0500.

WATERLOOVILLE: St George’s Church Hall, Hambledon Road. 9.30am-11.30am. St George’s Market. Eggs and home made preserves, honey. cards, jewellery, wood craft, craft, cakes, and plants. Coffee and tea available. (023) 9226 4583, stgeorgesnews.org.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by local artists Anahid, Terry Devaney and Pat Hoper. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road (PO12 1NS). 10am-4pm. Marine Art Paintings. New works by Gosport artist Colin M Baxter. (023) 92523463.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

GIGS

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 7pm doors-midnight. Play at The RMA. Nick Courtney presents: Glen Malo, 7pm; Stevie D, 7.30pm; Nathan Newman, 8pm-8.30pm; The Exits, 9.30pm-10.30pm; Kieran Wallace, 10.45pm; Escape From 98, 11.30m-midnight. Thursdaymusic.co.uk.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: The Fountain, 34, The Green. 8.30pm. Herbie Armstrong and friends Open Mic Night. All welcome.

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Evil Scarecrow. Plus special guests: Bloodworks; and Stray Bulleets Kill. Admission £4. (023) 9286 3911.

SOUTHSEA: The Barley Mow, 39, Castle Road. 9pm. Spirit. (023) 9282 3492.

STAGE

CHICHESTER: Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.30pm. Kiss Me Kate. Music and lyrics by Cole Porter. Book by Sam and Bella Spewack. Director Trevor Nunn. Choreographer Stephen Mear. Admission: £15-£40. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.45pm. The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui. By Bertolt Brecht in a translation by George Tabori. Admission: £29.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 7.30pm. Life x 3. Yasmina Reza’s comedy is presented by Bench Theatre. Admission £8, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PETERSFIELD: Bedales, Church Road, Steep. 7.45pm. Petersfield Shakespeare Festival: Twelfth Night. In the open air. Gates open 6pm for picnics. Luxury hampers available to order. Admission: £10, concs. (01730) 711599 or One Tree Books for tickets.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 1pm. The Little Big Club – Live in Concert. A show for the whole family, packed with all your favourite songs! Admission: £12, concs. (023) 9282 8282.

TITCHFIELD: Great Barn, Mill Lane. 7.30pm. Juliet and her Romeo. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet with a diffference. Admission: £9. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.

WALKS & TALKS

DRAYTON: Drayton Methodist Church Hall, Havant Road. 2pm. Hands On Afternoon. Organised by Cosham and District Floral Society. Refreshments available; visitors and new members welcome. (023) 9237 9868.

PORTSMOUTH: meet Scott Road car park (off Military Road by The News Centre). 10.30am. Hilsea Lines Walk. Uneven footpaths take you around ‘Foxes Forest’ with its abundance of wildlife. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

FRIDAY, JULY 27

COMEDY

PORTSMOUTH: Tiger Tiger Portsmouth, Gunwharf Quays. 6pm doors for 8pm-10pm (last entry 7.45pm). Jongleurs Comedy Night. Featuring: Andy White, Stuart Mitchell, Dougie Dunlop and Dave Eastgate. Admission £15. (023) 9288 2244.

DANCING

FAREHAM: 24/7 Fitness, Downend Road (PO16 8TS). 8.15pm-10.15pm. Social Dancing. Latin, ballroom and sequence dances. Admission £5. 07818 403 290, dizzyfeet.com.

EVENTS

FAREHAM: Royal Armouries, Fort Nelson, Portsdown Hill Road. 10am-5pm. Victorian Fort Nelson. Themed activities for all the family. Also The World at Fort Nelson. Discover how many countries are represented in our collection. (01329) 233734.

HORNDEAN: Butser Ancient Farm (Chalton/ Clanfield turnoff on A3). 10am-5pm. Festival of British Archaeology. Archaeology for children of all ages. Hands-on activities include excavating ancient artefacts, metal detecting, water divining, dressing as iron age people. (023) 9259 8838, or butserancientfarm.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Buckland Community Centre, Malins Road. 6pm-9.20pm. Reiki Therapy, Metamorphic Technique and Indian Head Massage. Drop-in therapy session, no appointment necessary. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Admission: £5-£8.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10.30am. Gallery Tour: A Tale of One City. Gain further insight into the exhibition with the museum’s specialist staff. Admission: £3, concs. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Portsmouth Progressive Spiritualist Church, Vivash Road, Fratton. 7.30pm. An Evening of Mediumship with Terry Taylor. Admission: £5.

PORTSMOUTH: Tiger Tiger Portsmouth, Gunwharf Quays. Festival Night. Featuring: music from The Chase, stilt walkers, acrobatics, a 70s/80s disco, etc. Admission: £5 after 9pm, £7 after 10pm. (023) 9288 2244.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by local artists Anahid, Terry Devaney and Pat Hoper. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road (PO12 1NS). 10am-4pm. Marine Art Paintings. New works by Gosport artist Colin M Baxter. (023) 92523463.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

GIGS

FAREHAM: Hill Park MWM Club. Robi Lee Disco.

PORTSMOUTH: Brewers Arms, 170, Milton Road. 9pm. Dave Barrett. (023) 9273 6583.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home Function Room, Locksway Road, Milton. Reggae Night. Featuring Blessing Lovejones Rufaro and guest DJs.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home, Locksway Road, Milton. Tim Park and Taylor, 7pm; King Sized Robots, 7.30pm; Harriett Terrill and Lee Coneley, 8pm; Niall Kingston, 8.30pm; Ned Evett, 9pm-11pm.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. This Way Up. Rocky blues band. rmatavern.co.uk.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: The Fountain, 34, The Green. 8.30pm. Rocking Colin and The Ace Tones.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Brook, 466, Portswood Road. 8pm doors. Who’s Who. Admission: £10 advance, £12 door. (023) 8055 5366.

SOUTHSEA: Cabmans Rest, 1, Plymouth Street. 8.30pm. Tangerine Tantrum.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. 4Play. Classic rock band. (023) 9282 1658.

SOUTHSEA: The Wedge and The Edge, Albert Road. 8pm. Swanky Sessions: Full Moon Party. Admission £3. (023) 9286 3911.

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 8pm. Kojak’s Revenge. Admission £9. (023) 9286 3911.

STAGE

ALTON: Chawton House Library. 6pm gates for 7.30pm. Twelfth Night. Shakespeare’s sparkling sexy comedy is pereformed by Heartbreak Productions on the South Lawn. Enjoy a picnic before the performance. Admission: £15, concs. (01420) 541010, chawtonhouse.org.

CHICHESTER: Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.30pm. Heartbreak House. By George Bernard Shaw. Starring Derek Jacobi. Admission: £15-£36. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.45pm. The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui. By Bertolt Brecht in a translation by George Tabori. Admission: £29.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 7.30pm. Life x 3. Yasmina Reza’s comedy is presented by Bench Theatre. Admission £8, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PETERSFIELD: Bedales, Church Road, Steep. 7.45pm. Petersfield Shakespeare Festival: Twelfth Night. In the open air. Gates open 6pm for picnics. Luxury hampers available to order. Admission: £10, concs. (01730) 711599 or One Tree Books for tickets.

TITCHFIELD: Great Barn, Mill Lane. 7.30pm. Juliet and her Romeo. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet with a diffference. Admission: £11. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.

WALKS & TALKS

FAREHAM: Wallington Village Hall, Broadcut. 7.30pm. Tree Critique. Bring along trees for group discussion and critique. Organised by the Solent Bonsai Society. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission £1. (023) 9247 8094 or (01329) 310208.

SOUTHSEA: meet Pyramids Centre, Clarence Esplanade. 10.30am. Seafront Walk. Walk along the promenade. Suitable for all. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

PORTSMOUTH: meet third car park at Farlington Marshes, Eastern Road. 10.30am. Farlington Marshes Walk. Sturdy shoes for this walk across farmland and exposed open footpaths around the marshes. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Independence and Wellbeing Team. (023) 9268 8390.

SATURDAY, JULY 28

CLUBBING

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 10pm. Club NME Electro Room. With Simon Heartfield; plus The Quick and The Dead. Admission £4. (023) 9286 3911.

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 10pm. Club NME. With Two Wounded Birds. Admission £4. (023) 9286 3911.

COMEDY

PORTSMOUTH: Tiger Tiger Portsmouth, Gunwharf Quays. 6pm doors for 8pm-10pm (last entry 7.45pm). Jongleurs Comedy Night. Featuring: Andy White, Stuart Mitchell, Dougie Dunlop and Dave Eastgate. Admission £15. (023) 9288 2244.

DANCING

COSHAM: Cosham Conservative Club, Spur Road. 7.30pm for 8pm-11pm. Club-50 Disco. Golden oldies and disco classics. With Denis Kaye. All welcome. Admission: £4 members, £5 guests. (023) 9225 1958 or club-50.co.uk.

NORTH MUNDHAM: Village Hall. 8pm. Chichester Country Music Club Dance. Featuring: Nicky James. Admission: £5. (01243) 527966, 787008, or (01489) 896323.

WICKHAM: Community Centre, Mill Lane. 8pm-11pm. Ballroom Dance. Admission: £4. (023) 9273 3393, 07980 058 310, ballroomrazzmatazz.co.uk.

EVENTS

FAREHAM: Royal Armouries, Fort Nelson, Portsdown Hill Road. 10am-5pm. Victorian Fort Nelson. Themed activities for all the family. Also The World at Fort Nelson. Discover how many countries are represented in our collection. (01329) 233734.

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 9.30am-5pm. Natal Hypnotherapy – Natural Pain Relief & Practical Birth Preparation. Day one of a two-day workshop – learn effective, easy to use techniques – including self-hypnosis, breathing and relaxation – to overcome fear, build confidence and reduce the pain of labour. Practical and emotional preparation for women and their partners. Workshops can be taken by an individual or a couple, however it is extremely useful for a birth partner to accompany the woman if possible. Both days of the two-day workshop can be taken at any point during pregnancy, but most couples prefer to take them during the third trimester. Admission: £95 per day (individual or couple). (01252) 745444 for further details.

GOSPORT: Grove Road Centre, 102, Grove Road. 9am-3pm. Table Top Sale. Great bargains, good quality items. Something for everyone. Light refreshments available.

HAVANT: Havant Garden Centre, Bartons Road. 10am-6pm. National Begonia Society South Coast Area Show. Admission free. (023) 9221 0846.

HAVANT: meet outside The Spring, East Street. 9.15am. Cycle ride to Rake and Alice Holt. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street, 10.30am. Storytelling for Children: Silly Stories. Hear about a magical world full of faraway places and silly stories. Become involved and join in with the actions. For ages four to seven years. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

HAYLING ISLAND: United Reformed Church, Small Hall, Hollow Lane. 9.30am. Coffee Morning. Organised by Hayling Support Group for the Rowans Hospice. (023) 9246 4683.

HORNDEAN: Butser Ancient Farm (Chalton/ Clanfield turnoff on A3). 10am-5pm. Wood Carving Competition. Experienced wood carvers are invited to apply for entrance to the competition. A unique chance to create prehistoric art in an iron age roundhouse. (023) 9259 8838, or butserancientfarm.co.uk for further details.

LIPHOOK: Hollycombe Steam Collection, Iron Hill. 11am-5pm. Beer Festival. Holycombe’s first ever beer festival with lots of local real ales! Admission £13, concs. (01428) 724900, hollycombe.co.uk.

PORTCHESTER: Parish Hall, Assheton Court/Castle Street (PO16 9PY). 10am-midday. Coffee Morning. Books for sale and tombola. Cake and drink or bacon roll and drink £1.50. In aid of the Rowans Hospice.

PORT SOLENT: meet Playground. 11am-4pm. Port Solent Kidz Club: Marjin Circus. Learn to juggle or ride a unicycle, do some body balancing or learn to hula hoop. (023) 9221 0606, portsolent.com for further details.

PORTSMOUTH: Guildhall, Guildhall Square. 11am-8pm. Portsmouth International Tattoo Convention. Featuring various trade stands, artists from around the world and some lively entertainment. Admission £10 in advance. (023) 9282 4355, portsmouthguildhall.org.uk, portsmouthtattooconvention.com..

PORTSMOUTH: HMS Warrior 1860, Historic Dockyard. 10am-4.30pm. Victorian Navy Days Weekend. Celebrating the 25th anniversary of HMS Warrior’s homecoming to Portsmouth. (023) 9277 8600.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by local artists Anahid, Terry Devaney and Pat Hoper. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

EMSWORTH: Museum, 10b, North Street. 10.30am-4.30pm. Paintings by Angela Loader. Many of Angela’s pictures are of subjects related to the sea, of boats and lcoal seascapes. Most of the printings and some prints will be on sale. (01243) 373780, emsworthmuseum.co.uk.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road (PO12 1NS). 10am-4pm. Marine Art Paintings. New works by Gosport artist Colin M Baxter. (023) 92523463.

GOSPORT: Submarine Museum, Haslar Jetty Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-5.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... (023) 9251 0354, submarine-museum.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Portraits and Landscapes: Rediscovering Richard Ubsdell ... marking the bicentenary of this local artist. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

GIGS

FAREHAM: Hill Park MWM Club. DL Sounds.

PORTSMOUTH: Brewers Arms, 170, Milton Road. 9pm. Mojo Dollar. Playing music from the 60s to the Mods. (023) 9273 6583.

PORTSMOUTH: Harvest Home, 106 Copner Road. 8.30pm. Spirit.

PORTSMOUTH: Old Canal, Shirley Avenue, Milton. 4pm-8pm. Danny Fisher.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home, Locksway Road, Milton. 8.30pm-11pm. Polarity.

PORTSMOUTH: RNOB, New Road. 8.30pm. Kenny Mayes.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: The Fountain, 34, The Green. 8.30pm. Jesse Ray.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Brook, 466, Portswood Road. 8pm doors. Guns n Roses Experience. Admission: £10 advance, £12 door. (023) 8055 5366.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. Hazzard County. Rock band. (023) 9282 1658.

STAGE

CHICHESTER: Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park. 2.15pm, 7.30pm. Heartbreak House. By George Bernard Shaw. Starring Derek Jacobi. Admission: £15-£36. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 2.30pmm, 7.45pm. The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui. By Bertolt Brecht in a translation by George Tabori. Admission: £29.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 1.30am-3.30pm, 5pm-7pm. Knight Stars in a Toybox. Join Theresa Hawkins School of Dance as we dance through a magical journey from Hip Hop to Ballet discovering characters in a Toybox. Featuring a live band and dancers aged two years to adult. Admission: £9.50, £6.50 children (two-16 years). (01252) 745444.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 7.30pm. Life x 3. Yasmina Reza’s comedy is presented by Bench Theatre. Admission £8, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PETERSFIELD: Bedales, Church Road, Steep. 2.15pm, 7.45pm. Petersfield Shakespeare Festival: Twelfth Night. In the open air. Gates open 6pm for picnics. Luxury hampers available to order. Admission: £10, concs. (01730) 711599 or One Tree Books for tickets.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. House of Burlesque. Featuring Chrisalys, Diva Hollywood, Dolores Delight and many more. Host for the evening: Joe Black. Admission: £12-£14. (023) 9282 8282.

TITCHFIELD: Great Barn, Mill Lane. 7.30pm. Juliet and her Romeo. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet with a diffference. Admission: £11. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.

WALKS & TALKS

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road (PO12 1NS). 11am, 2pm. Gallery Talk. Join Gosport artist Colin M Baxter for a walk and talk around his current exhibition in the gallery. (023) 92523463.

PETERSFIELD: meet Penns Place (GR SU767235). 10am. Petersfield Ramblers Club Walk. A six-and-a-half-mile walk. Cars leave Petersfield Town Station at 9.40am. All welcome. (01730) 269253.