What’s on for Thursday March 27, 2014

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A guide to what’s on around the area today.

COMEDY

FAREHAM: Ashcroft Arts Centre, Osborn Road. 7.30pm. Gary Delaney: Purist. Expect jokes. Don’t expect narrative themes or a voyage of self-discovery. Admission £14, concs. (01329) 223100.

PORTSMOUTH: Guildhall, Guildhall Square. 8pm. Sarah Millican. The British Comedy Award’s Queen is back. Admission £25. (023) 9282 4355, portsmouthguildhall.org.uk.

CONCERTS

PETERSFIELD: St Peter’s Church, The Square. 7.30pm. Churcher’s College Spring Concert. Featuring the senior wind band and senior choir. Admission £8, concs. (01730) 260213.

OLD PORTSMOUTH: St Thomas’ Cathedral, High Street. 1.10pm. Lunchtime Recital. Featuring: Inversion (Ruth Stockdale and Robert Smith) flute and organ. Admission £3, concs. 023 9282 3300 extn 228, portsmouthcathedral.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: St Mary’s Church, Fratton Road. 7.30pm. Royal Marines School of Music Concert.

DANCING

HAVANT: Leigh Park Community Hall, Dunsbury Way (PO9 5BG). 2pm-4pm. Tea Dance. Admission £3 (inc tea/biscuits). 07950 730 274.

EVENTS

PORTSMOUTH: Fratton Community Centre, Trafalgar Place (off Clive Road). 2pm-4pm. Friendship Club. Different activity each week with a welcoming friendly group. Admission: £2.50 a session. (023) 9278 0500.

WATERLOOVILLE: St George’s Church Hall, Hambledon Road. 9.30am-11.30am. St George’s Market. Eggs and home made preserves, honey, cards, jewellery, woodcraft, craft, cakes, and plants. Coffee and tea available. (023) 9226 4583, stgeorgesnews.org.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by the Solent Aviation Art Society. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-5pm. Blooming Marvellous: intergenerational community knitted garden. Over 2,500 knitters and crocheters worked with participatory visual artist Pauline Stanley to create the garden. Come and join in to help our garden grow. Free Admission. (023) 9252 3463.

PETERSFIELD: Flora Twort Gallery, Church Path Studio, 21, The Square. 10am-4pm. Dominic Head: Mapping Empire. Featuring a number of screen prints and video work exploring issues of privacy and the internet. (01730) 260756, petersfieldmuseum.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. Tricorn: Controversy in Concrete ... recollections of the Brutalist structure 10 years after demolition. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Pompey special. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. Admission free. (023) 9283 4779, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

FILMS

PORTSMOUTH: Eldon Cinema Room, Eldon Building, University of Portsmouth, Winston Churchill Avenue (PO1 2DJ). Jeune et Jolie (18); 8pm. France, 2013. Subtitles. Directed by François Ozon. Starring: Marine Vacth, Géraldine Pailhas, Frédéric Pierrot, Fantin Ravat, Johan Leysen and Charlotte Rampling. Admission £6, concs. 07580 715 982, portsmouthfilmsociety.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: No 6 Cinema, Boathouse 6, Historic Dockyard. The Armstrong Lie (15); 7pm. USA, 2013. Directed by Alex Gibney. Lance Armstrong was a cycling phenomenon, but his enduring success was heavily reliant on performance-enhancing drugs, which for years he indignantly denied. Admission £7.50, concs. 07435 029 408, no6cinema.co.uk.

GIGS

PETERSFIELD: The Good Intent, 40-46, College Street. 8pm. Open Mic Night. Plug in and join in with Petersfield’s own ‘Later with Joules’.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 7pm-midnight. Play at The RMA. Nick Courtney presents: Ade Cuoo, 7pm; Lewis Bennett, 7.30pm; Kelvin Jones, 8pm; Strumpet Town, 8.30pm; comedian Steve Corrigan, 9.15pm; The Deadscene Revival, 9.30pm; Freeway Mad, 10.15pm-11.15pm. Thursdaymusic.co.uk.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: The Fountain, 34, The Green. 8.30pm. James George and Friends Open Mic Night. All welcome.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Joiners Arms, 141, St Mary’s Street. 7.30pm. Biopolar Sunshine. Admission £7. (023) 8022 5612.

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Spring Into Action Charity Variety Show. In Aid of Pancreatic Cancer UK. Dedicated to Kerry Harvey. Featuring The Frank & Dean Show, The Three Belles, Scarlett Seductrice and Batala Portsmouth. Admission £10. (023) 9286 3911.

STAGE

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 2.30pm, 7.45pm. Liza Liza Liza. A new play by Richard Harris about Liza Minnelli. Admission: ££19-£30.50. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

HASLEMERE: Haslemere Hall, Bridge Street. 7.30pm. South Pacific. Rodgers and Hammerstein musical presented by The Haslemere Players. (01428) 642161 for further details.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 11.30am. Battle Lines: The Call Up. Admission £7.50, concs. 1.45pm. Battle Lines: Keep Smiling Through. Admission £7.50, concs. 7pm. Battle Lines: The Call Up; Keep Smiling Through; and In Our Name. Admission £12.50, concs. Trilogy of plays presented by Forest Forge Theatre Company, that explore the way that wartime and modern warfare has shaped the lives of generations. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

HAYLING ISLAND: Station Theatre, Station Road, West Town. 7.45pm. Communicating Doors. By Alan Ayckbourn, presented by HIADS. Admission £7. (023) 9246 6363.

SOBERTON: Soberton Village Hall, School Hill, Long Road. 7.30pm. The Vicar of Dibley. Stage play by Ian Gower and Paul Carpenter adapted from the original TV series, presented by the Soberton Players. Admission £7. (023) 9263 2551, sobertonplayers.co.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 2pm, 7.30pm. Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake. A passionate and contemporary Swan Lake for our times which took the dance world by storm. Admission £17.50-£35, concs. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Presented by One Off Productions. Admission £8-£12, concs. (023) 9282 8282 for tickets.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 7.30pm. The Russian Doctor (dress rehearsal). An exploration of the impossibility of escape, The Russian Doctor is a meditation on freedom. Admission £17, concs. Post-show discussion free, but please reserve your place when booking your tickets as places are limited. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

WALKS & TALKS

GOSPORT: Gosport Discovery Centre, High Street. 7.30pm. Swiss in the British Army: The Watteville Regiment 1801-1816. Alistair Nichols talks about largely forgotten aspects of the Napoleonic Wars. Admission £3. (023) 9252 3463.

OLD PORTSMOUTH: Becket Hall, Cathedral House, St Thomas’ Street. 2.45pm. RN and RM Chaplaincy. Talk by Peter Keat, organised by the Portsmouth Cathedral Club. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission £3. (023) 9285 1177.