What’s On for Thursday May 17, 2012

Victor Ariat

Smooth sailing for Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra at Portsmouth Guildhall

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A guide to what’s on in Portsmouth, Fareham, Gosport, Havant, Waterlooville and the rest of south east Hampshire.

THURSDAY, MAY 17

COMEDY

PORTSMOUTH: Cellars at Eastney, 56, Cromwell Road. 7.30pm. Cellars Comedy Club. Featuring: Hal Cruttenden. Admission: £9 in advance, £10 on door. (023) 9282 6249, thecellars.co.uk.

CONCERTS

OLD PORTSMOUTH: St Thomas’ Cathedral, High Street. 1.10pm. Lunchtime Live! Featuring Nick Miller, Portsmouth Cathedral (organ). Admission: £2.50, concs. (023) 9282 3399.

PORTSMOUTH: Mountbatten Dining Room, Royal Marines Museum, Eastney Esplanade. 7.30pm. Royal Marines Association Concert Band. Tickets from (023) 9281 9385, royalmarinesmuseum.co.uk.

DANCING

HASLEMERE: Pirrie Hall, A286, Brook. 7.30pm-9.30pm. Circle Dance. International folk dances for which no partner or previous experience required. Experienced teacher. Fun, fitness and friendship. All welcome. (01420) 474881.

EVENTS

HAVANT: meet outside The Spring, East Street. 7pm. Evening cycle ride to Castle in the Air, Fareham. Organised by the Portsmouth CTC. All welcome. ctcportsmouth.hampshire.org.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: The Navigators, Isambard Brunel Road. 12.30pm-3.30pm. It’s Time To Get A Grip. Learning new ways to boost your confidence and cashflow for the unemployed. 07769 663 370.

PORTSMOUTH: St Francis Church Hall, Northern Parade, Hilsea. 2pm-4pm. The Cosy Club. A social group for men and women 60+ every Thursday for social time, quizzes, raffles, speakers and trips. Pop along for a warm welcome. (023) 9262 8705.

PORTSMOUTH: St Mary’s Church, Fratton Road. 7.30pm. Ascension Day Parish Mass. A service celebrating the Ascension of Jesus which will include a commissioning of the Parochial Church Council.

PORTSMOUTH: St Wilfrid’s Church, George Street. Midday. Charity Lunch. A chance to enjoy a light lunch - the money raised will be used support a local charity.

WATERLOOVILLE: St George’s Church Hall, Hambledon Road. 9.30am-11.30am. St George’s Market. Eggs and home made preserves, honey. cards, jewellery, wood craft, craft, cakes, and plants. Coffee and tea available. (023) 9226 4583, stgeorgesnews.org.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Alresford Monday Painting Group. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-4pm. The Way of the Warrior. Arms and armour from epic movies! Includes replica arms and armour that can be handled and worn. (023) 9250 1957, hants.gov.uk/gdc.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 10am-8pm. In Memoriam. This exhibition explores the language of remembrance through imagery of local memorials of the Great War 1914-18. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

SELBORNE: Selborne Gallery, The Plestor. 11am-5pm. Hampshire Artists’ Co-operative Spring Exhibition. With guest artists Mary Herdman and Jo Ellis. (01420) 511347.

FILMS

PORTSMOUTH: No 6 Cinema, Boathouse 6, Historic Dockyard. Blackthorn. (15); 6pm doors for 7pm. Spain/USA/Bolivia/France, 2011. Directed by: Mateo Gil. Starring: Sam Sheperd, Eduardo Noriega, Stephen Rea. 07958 180 037.

PORTSMOUTH: Omega Centre, Omega Street, Somerstown. Portsmouth Film Society Green Film Festival: Just Do It: A Tale of Modern Day Outlaws (UK, 2011); 6pm; free entry. Panel: Can We Really Change the World? 7.30pm; free entry. The Island President (US 2011); 8.30pm; directed by John Shenk; admission £5. portsmouthfilmsociety.org.uk.

GIGS

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 8pm. Zoe Schwarz Blue Commotion. Blues. Admission £12, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 7pm doors. Play at The RMA. Nick Courtney presents: James Tippins, 7pm; Vita, 7.30pm; Harriett Terrill, 8pm; Vallettas, 8.30pm; Pepin and the Climatologists, 9pm; Voodoo Child, 9.30pm-10pm; Polarity, 10.15pm-1late. Thursdaymusic.co.uk.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: Fountain Inn, The Green. 8.30pm. Herbie Armstrong (ex Van Morrison) Open Mic Night. (023) 9241 2291.

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 8pm. Kokiak Jack. Plus special guests The Rapids and Grey Goes Down. Admission £3. (023) 9286 3911.

STAGE

CHICHESTER: Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7pm. A Marvellous Year for Plums. Thriller by Hugh Whitmore, set in Britain during the Suez Crisis in 1956. Admission: £14-£36. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

COSHAM: St Phillip’s Hall, Hawthorn Crescent, Highbury. 7.45pm. Wife After Death. Presented by the Highbury Players. (023) 9238 9359.

FAREHAM: Ashcroft Arts Centre, Osborn Road. 7.30pm. Withering Looks. Taking an ‘authentic’ look at the lives and works of the Bronte sisters. Presented by Lipservice Theatre. Admission: £14.50, concs. (01329) 223100, box office.

HASLEMERE: Haslemere Hall, Bridge Street. 7.30pm. The Importance of Being Ernest. A comedy of manners by Oscar Wilde. Admission: £10. (01428) 642161.

ISLE OF WIGHT: Trinity Theatre, The Grove, Cowes. 7.30pm. Godspell. Musical presented by CAODS. Admission £8, concs. 0845 475 4743, caods.org.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 2pm, 7.30pm. Oliver! Starring Brian Conley and Samantha Barks. Admission: £20-£46.50. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

SOUTH HARTING: Harting Village Hall, Peasecroft. 7.30pm. Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the d’Urbevilles. Brought to life by the Lion and Unicorn Players. Interval entertainment by Petersfield Voices. Admission: £10, concs. (01730) 263254, (01730) 824219, lionandunicornplayers.co.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Voice of the Heart: Karen Carpenter. A two-hour show. Admission £18.50. (023) 9282 8282.

TITCHFIELD: St Margaret’s Arts Centre, 73, St Margaret’s Lane. 7.30pm. Kindertransport. A play by Diane Samuels, which examines the life, during World War II and afterwards, of a Kindertransport child. Admission: £9. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.

WALKS & TALKS

PORTSMOUTH: meet Scott Road car park (off Military Road by The News Centre). 10.30am. Hilsea Lines Walk. Uneven footpaths take you around ‘Foxes Forest’ with its abundance of wildlife. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Health Development Team. (023) 9268 8390.

PORTSMOUTH: Mountbatten Centre, Twyford Avenue. 2pm. Walk with Friends: WfH Accredited. Two/three mile walk, organised by Walking Friends Portsmouth. New walkers arrive early to register please. (023) 9286 3224.

SOUTHSEA: Community Centre, St Paul’s Square, King Street. 10.30am. Walk with Friends: WfH Accredited. Two/three mile walk, organised by Walking Friends Portsmouth. New walkers arrive early to register please. (023) 9286 3224.

SOUTHSEA: D-Day Museum, Clarence Esplanade. 7.30pm. William George Armstrong: the English Krupp who armed HMS Warrior. Talk by the secretary of the Palmerston Forts Society, Geoff Hallett, organised by Portsmouth Museums and Records Society. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission: £2. (023) 9282 8068.

SOUTHSEA: St John’s College Auditorium, Grove Road South. 7pm for 7.30pm. St John’s College Politics Society meeting. Former Labour minister the Rt Hon Peter Hain will be addressing the society. Refreshments available. stjohnscollege.co.uk.

FRIDAY, MAY 18

CLUBBING

SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 8pm-late. Quick Step and Side Kick. 80s electronica and New Romantic classics. (023) 9286 3911.

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 11pm-late. It’s A Sin. With residents DJ Lemon and Spikey Mark. (023) 9286 3911.

COMEDY

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Wedge Comedy Club. Featuring Josh Howie and friends. Compére Dinga. Followed by It’s A Sin till late. Admission: £8 (£6 NUS). (023) 9286 3911.

DANCING

PORTSMOUTH: Guildhall, Guildhall Square. 7.30pm. The Three Belles: In The Mood. Step back into the time of blackouts and Bovril, and dance the night away to swinging big band tunes at this interactive 1940s evening. Free dance lesson at 5pm. Admission: £15. (023) 9282 4355, portsmouthguildhall.org.uk.

EVENTS

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 5.30pm-6.30pm. Sarah McQuaid Guitar Workshop. Author of The Irish DADGAD Guitar Book, Sarah hosts a workshop for guitarists with little or no previous experience in DADGA. Admission £15. (01252) 745444.

LISS: Triangle Centre. Bridge Tea. Enjoy an afternoon of bridge and a delicious tea. (01730) 301000 or call into the office to book your place.

PORTSMOUTH: Eastney Community Centre, Bransbury Park. 1.30pm-3.30pm. Take Five Workshop: The Perils of Positive Thinking in a Negative World. With Carolyn Barber. Includes strategies and exercises for good mental health. Admission: £10, in advance or on door. (023) 9286 4306, meetrelaxlearncreate.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10.30am. Gallery Tour: A Tale of One City. Gain further insight into the exhibition with the museum’s specialist staff. Admission: £3, concs. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring works by Alresford Monday Painting Group. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-4pm. The Way of the Warrior. Arms and armour from epic movies! Includes replica arms and armour that can be handled and worn. (023) 9250 1957, hants.gov.uk/gdc.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 10am-8pm. In Memoriam. This exhibition explores the language of remembrance through imagery of local memorials of the Great War 1914-18. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

HAYLING ISLAND: Hayling Island Library, Elm Lane. 9.30am-5pm. May Days Arts Trail 2012: Arts and Crafts. Work by Trail participants. 0845 6035 631.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. A Tale of One City ... exploring the links between Charles Dickens and life in Portsmouth today. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

SELBORNE: Selborne Gallery, The Plestor. 11am-5pm. Hampshire Artists’ Co-operative Spring Exhibition. With guest artists Mary Herdman and Jo Ellis. (01420) 511347.

FILMS

PORTSMOUTH: No 6 Cinema, Boathouse 6, Historic Dockyard. Delicacy. (12A); 6pm doors for 7pm. France, 2011. Directed by: David Foenkinos and Stéphane Foenkinos. Starring: Audrey Tautou, François Damiens, Bruno Todeschini, Pio Marmaï. 07958 180 037.

PORTSMOUTH: Omega Centre, Omega Street, Somerstown. Portsmouth Film Society Green Film Festival: Web of Life: The Living River (1972) and Web of Life: The Living Woodland (1974) Wessex Film Sound Archive; 3pm, free entry. Bag It (US 2011); directed by Susan Beraza; admission £2. Greenpeace Portsmouth Showcase (20 min); 5.30pm; free entry. Countdown to Zero (US 2010); 7pm; admission £5. portsmouthfilmsociety.org.uk.

GIGS

CHICHESTER: Pallant Suite, South Pallant. 6.30pm doors for 7.45pm-10.15pm. Chichester Jazz Club. Featuring Chichester College Jazz Students. Admission: £10. (01243) 776001.

FAREHAM: Ashcroft Arts Centre, Osborn Road. 7.30pm. Emily Smith. Folk. Admission: £13.50, concs. (01329) 223100, box office.

FAREHAM: Hill Park MWM Club. Equinox. Six-piece band.

FARNHAM: Maltings, Bridge Square. 8pm-10pm. Sarah McQuaid in concert. Sarah McQuaid is both song crafter and song collector, equally at home with traditional Irish and Appalachian folk songs, Elizabethan ballads and 1930s jazz numbers. Admission £8 in advance, £10 on door. 8pm-10pm. The ELO Experience. Admission £16 in advance, £18 on door. (01252) 745444.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 7pm doors for 8pm. U2UK: The U2 Show. Tribute show. Admission £10, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

NORTH BOARHUNT: North Boarhunt Social Club, Trampers Lane. 8.30pm. Boarhunt Blues Club. Featuring the Hamilton Loomis Band, all the way from Texas. All welcome. Admission: £20. (023) 9225 4909, boarhuntblues.com.

PORTSMOUTH: Cellars at Eastney, 56, Cromwell Road. 7.30pm. Chris Ricketts: 21st Century Shantyman. Full band show. Admission: £8 in advance, £10 on door. (023) 9282 6249, thecellars.co.uk.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home, Locksway Road, Milton. 8pm-11pm. Heavy Jeli, 8pm; All Or Nothing, 9.30pm.

PORTSMOUTH: Old House At Home Function Room, Locksway Road, Milton. Reggae Night. Featuring Blessing Lovejones Rufaro and guest DJs.

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. Max Bona. (023) 9282 0896, rmatavern.co.uk.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: Fountain Inn, The Green. 8.30pm. Where’s Billy. (023) 9241 2291.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Brook, 466, Portswood Road. 8pm doors. Rufus Stone. Admission: £9 advance, £10 door. (023) 8055 5366.

SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. Slippery Things. Acoustic/vocal duo. (023) 9282 1658.

STAGE

BORDON: Phoenix Arts Centre, Station Road. 7.30pm. Macbeth. Presented by the Phoenix Players. Admission: £9, concs. (01420) 472664, phoenix-arts.co.uk.

CHICHESTER: Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.30pm. A Marvellous Year for Plums. Thriller by Hugh Whitmore, set in Britain during the Suez Crisis in 1956. Admission: £14-£36. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

CHICHESTER: Minerva Theatre, Oaklands Park. 7.45pm. Canvas. Comedy by Michael Wynne. Admission: £23.50. (01243) 781312 or cft.org.uk.

COSHAM: St Phillip’s Hall, Hawthorn Crescent, Highbury. 7.45pm. Wife After Death. Presented by the Highbury Players. (023) 9238 9359.

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 8pm. Essence of Ireland. Capturing the true spirit of the Emerald Isle. Admission: £18.50-£24.50. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

HAMBLEDON: Village Hall, West Street. 7.30pm. Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the d’Urbevilles. Brought to life by the Lion and Unicorn Players. Interval entertainment by Petersfield Voices. Admission: £10, concs. (01730) 263254, (023) 9263 2452, lionandunicornplayers.co.uk.

HASLEMERE: Haslemere Hall, Bridge Street. 7.30pm. The Importance of Being Ernest. A comedy of manners by Oscar Wilde. Admission: £10. (01428) 642161.

ISLE OF WIGHT: Trinity Theatre, The Grove, Cowes. 7.30pm. Godspell. Musical presented by CAODS. Admission £8, concs. 0845 475 4743, caods.org.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 7.30pm. Oliver! Starring Brian Conley and Samantha Barks. Admission: £20-£46.50. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Forever In Blue Jeans. Featuring music from the 1950s and 60s. Admission £18.50. (023) 9282 8282.

TITCHFIELD: St Margaret’s Arts Centre, 73, St Margaret’s Lane. 7.30pm. Kindertransport. A play by Diane Samuels, which examines the life, during World War II and afterwards, of a Kindertransport child. Admission: £11. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 8pm. I’m an Aristocrat, Get Me Out of Here! Presented by Gonzo Moose. Admission: £15, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

WALKS & TALKS

SOUTHSEA: meet Pyramids Centre, Clarence Esplanade. 10.30am. Seafront Walk. Walk along the promenade. Suitable for all. New walkers to arrive early to register please. Led by volunteer walk leaders, and organised by Portsmouth’s Health Development Team. (023) 9268 8390.