What’s on for Thursday November 14, 2013

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A guide to what’s on around the area today.

COMEDY

FAREHAM: Ashcroft Arts Centre, Osborn Road. 7.30pm. Bond! An Unauthorised Parody. Presented by Gavin Robertson. Admission £13.50, concs. (01329) 223100.

CONCERTS

OLD PORTSMOUTH: St Thomas’ Cathedral, High Street. 1.10pm. Lunchtime Concert. Featuring Nick Miller and Will Drakett (organ). Admission £3, concs. Light refreshments available. (023) 9282 1164.

DANCING

COSHAM: Cosham Conservative Club Function Room, Spur Road. 7.30pm for 8pm-11pm. Club-50 Disco. Golden oldies and disco classics. With Pete Travers. All welcome. Admission: £4 members, £5 guests. (023) 9225 1958 or club-50.co.uk.

HAVANT: Leigh Park Community Centre, Dunsbury Way (PO9 5BG) 2pm-4pm. Tea Dance. Admission: £3, inc tea/biscuits. (023) 9307 7596, 07950 730 274.

HORNDEAN: Merchistoun Hall, London Road. 2pm-4pm. Tea Dance. Sequence and some ballroom. Admission £2.50. (023) 9226 6177.

EVENTS

PORTSMOUTH: Fratton Community Centre, Trafalgar Place (off Clive Road). 2pm-4pm. Friendship Group for the over 55s. Different activity each week from speakers, quizzes, bingo, seated exercises, plus a time to socialise and make new friends. Admission: £2.50 a session. (023) 9278 0500.

EXHIBITIONS

COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. Featuring paintings by Maureen Moss and photographs by Steve Guilfoyle. Organised by the QA League of Friends. (023) 9238 7284.

GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-5pm. Animated Hampshire. A collection of animated short films which celebrate the wealth of young creative talent in Hampshire. Free admission. (023) 9252 3463.

GOSPORT: RN Submarine Museum, Haslar Road (PO12 2AS). 10am-3.30pm. Horrible Science of Submarines. Subs are cool and exciting ... subs are horrible and scary ... A funny family exhibition looking at the Horrible side of life as a submariner. (023) 9254 5036, submarine-museum.co.uk.

PETERSFIELD: Bedales Gallery, Church Road, Steep. 2pm-5pm. George Grosz: The Big No. One of the greatest satirical artists of the 20th century. Featuring two of the most famous portfolios of his drawings: EcceHomo, 1923 and Hintergrund, 1928. (01730) 711511, bedales.org.uk.

PETERSFIELD: Petersfield Museum, The Old Court House, St Peter’s Road (GU2 3HX). 10am-4pm. Beliefs: Religion and Spirituality in Petersfield and Beyond. At the centre of the exhibition are a series of portraits of local people of different faiths and of no faith featuring their personal thoughts on religion and spirituality, and related artefacts. (01730) 262601.

PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.

FILMS

PORTSMOUTH: No 6 Cinema, Boathouse 6, Historic Dockyard. The Artist and the Model (12A); 7pm. France, 2012. Subtitled. Directed by Fernando Trueba. Starring: Jean Rochefort and Aida Folch. Admission £7.50, concs. 07435 029 408, no6cinema.co.uk.

GIGS

PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 7pm-midnight. Play at The RMA. Nick Courtney presents: Jade Kelly, 7pm; Iscalis, 7.30pm; Alan Reid, 8pm; The Beth Oliver Band, 8.30pm; The Unknown Soldiers, 9.30pm; The Milkmen, 10.15pm; Open Mic (three songs each, just turn up and put your name down to play), 11pm. Thursdaymusic.co.uk.

ROWLANDS CASTLE: The Fountain, 34, The Green. 8.30pm. James George and friends Open Mic Night. All welcome.

SOUTHAMPTON: The Joiners Arms, 141, St Mary’s Street. 7.30pm. Too Many T’s. Hip hop. (023) 8022 5612.

SOUTHSEA: Fifth Hants Volunteer Arms, Albert Road. 9pm. The Little Deep Band.

SOUTHSEA: Jolly Sailor, 54, Clarence Road. 7.30pm. Sam’s Jam. A musician’s fun night with some big names doing what they do best! (023) 9229 5195.

SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 8pm. Eddi Reader. Plus special guest Kieran Goss. Admission £20. (023) 9286 3911.

STAGE

GOSPORT: Gosport Discovery Centre, High Street. 7.30pm-9pm. 1913 and All That. Combining spoken word and music, two SOOP performers will take you on a humorous, illuminating journey through literature and popular culture on the eve of the First World War. Admission £6. (023) 9252 3463 to book.

GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 2.30pm, 7.45pm. Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Presented by Propeller. Admission: £15-£26.50. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.

HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 7.30pm. Little Women. Louisa May Alcott’s classic tale is presented by Bench Theatre. Admission £8, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.

HAYLING ISLAND: Station Theatre, Station Road, West Town. 7.30pm. Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors. Presented by the Southsea Shakespeare Actors. Admission £10, concs. (023) 9246 6363.

PETERSFIELD: The Lupton Hall, Bedales, Steep. 7.30pm. Hansel and Gretel. Staged performance of Engelbert Humperdinck’s enchanting and perennially popular opera are given by musicians from Bedales and Dunhurst. Free tickets. (01730) 711511. bedales.org.uk.

SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 2pm, 7.30pm. Scrooge. Musical starring Tommy Steele. Admission: £14-£37, concs. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.

SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Birdsong. A play by Rachel Wagstaff based on Sebastian Faulks’ novel, presented by CCADS in this Remembrance Week. Admission £11-£15. (01329) 846646 for tickets.

TITCHFIELD: St Margaret’s Arts Centre, 73, St Margaret’s Lane. 7.30pm. Dad’s Army. Platoon attenshun!!. Admission: £9, concs. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.

WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 7.30pm. Patience. A Gilbert & Sullivan musical comedy presented by Winchester Operatic Society. Admission £14.50, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.

WALKS & TALKS

FAREHAM: Catisfield Memorial Hall, Catisfield Lane, Catisfield. 7.30pm. Plants and Their Wicked Ways. Talk by Alan and Sylvia Martin, organised by the Catisfield & District Horticultural Society and followed by the annual general meeting. Visitors and new members welcome. (01329) 312269 or catisfield.com/CHS.

FAREHAM: Wallington Village Hall, Broadcut. 7.15pm-9.30pm. Ask the Experts. Your genealogical questions answered by a panel, organised by the Hampshire Genealogical Society Fareham Group. Visitors and new members welcome. hgs-familyhistory.com/groups/fareham.

OLD PORTSMOUTH: Becket Hall, Cathedral House, St Thomas’ Street. 2.45pm. Kingston Prison Talk by Peter Galvin, organised by the Portsmouth Cathedral Club. Visitors and new members welcome. Admission £3. (023) 9285 1177.

PORTSMOUTH: The Church of the Resurrection Hall, Brecon Avenue, Drayton. 7.45pm. A Solent Cruise: part one. Illustrated talk by David Allport, organised by the Friends of Portsdown Hill. All welcome. Admission £2 (inc refreshments). (023) 9232 5570.