Steve Canavan had a nightmare with a draining board

Will I ever be forgiven for this kitchen sink drama?: OPINION

In many ways I consider myself a sane and normal individual. I’m good natured and generally friendly; I hold down a job and pay my bills on time; I am kind to elderly neighbours; and I give money to several charities - Shelter, British Heart Foundation, the National Association of Prevention of Diabetes in Gerbils. 
Steve Canavan was a nervous wreck on the plane to China

OPINION: 'I kept my eyes glued on the toilet...'

I’m writing this missive in China. My column, I feel, has been getting a bit stale so in order to give it fresh impetus I asked the boss at this paper to book me a flight to Hong Kong (business class, which means you pay about £3,000 extra to get a slightly larger seat and a complimentary bag of salted peanuts) and then a two-week stay in a five-star hotel in a place called Guangzho, China’s fourth biggest city.  
Coffee designs - what an utter waste of everyone's time...

OPINION: How I long for the days of cheap instant coffee

I don’t wish to complain – I’m a happy-go-lucky kind of guy who never gets aggravated by anything (unless it’s my mother yet again, because she’s not properly read it, forwarding on to her entire email contacts list a faintly racist Brexit email that begins something like ‘Stay in the EU and 76 MILLION Turks will flock to Britain!’), but one thing I will never understand is why some cafes insist on putting snazzy designs on top of their coffees.
Steve has an irrational fear of spiders.

OPINION: Spiders turn me into a homicidal maniac

Society is split into two distinct types. There are those who, on spying a spider, gently put a cup over them, slide a piece of paper around the top, and then carefully drop the animal out of the window so it can resume its happy life spinning webs.
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