Steve Canavan was a nervous wreck on the plane to China

OPINION: 'I kept my eyes glued on the toilet...'

I’m writing this missive in China. My column, I feel, has been getting a bit stale so in order to give it fresh impetus I asked the boss at this paper to book me a flight to Hong Kong (business class, which means you pay about £3,000 extra to get a slightly larger seat and a complimentary bag of salted peanuts) and then a two-week stay in a five-star hotel in a place called Guangzho, China’s fourth biggest city.  
Coffee designs - what an utter waste of everyone's time...

OPINION: How I long for the days of cheap instant coffee

I don’t wish to complain – I’m a happy-go-lucky kind of guy who never gets aggravated by anything (unless it’s my mother yet again, because she’s not properly read it, forwarding on to her entire email contacts list a faintly racist Brexit email that begins something like ‘Stay in the EU and 76 MILLION Turks will flock to Britain!’), but one thing I will never understand is why some cafes insist on putting snazzy designs on top of their coffees.
Steve has an irrational fear of spiders.

OPINION: Spiders turn me into a homicidal maniac

Society is split into two distinct types. There are those who, on spying a spider, gently put a cup over them, slide a piece of paper around the top, and then carefully drop the animal out of the window so it can resume its happy life spinning webs.
Steve Canavan spent SEVEN HOURS clearing out the spare room ready for the new baby

Panic stations as new baby is almost here – Steve Canavan 

The latest addition to the Canavan family is due to arrive on March 20. The imminent arrival of the second and very definitely last child I father means, depressingly, there is certain stuff that has to be done. Top of the list is the back bedroom. For the past nine months, Mrs C has been preaching the importance of moving Mary into a different room BEFORE the new baby arrives.
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