FIONA CAINE: Help '“ I can't stop making sexual advances at men

Columnist and trained counsellor Fiona Caine offers her perspective on a woman with a high sex drive and a reader with a particularly hairy eyebrow issue.

Monday, 18th December 2017, 11:20 am
Updated Monday, 18th December 2017, 11:26 am
Fiona is asked for advice from a woman who says she can't stop throwing herself at men (Shutterstock)

Q. I’ve always had an unusually high sex drive, which means I’ve had no shortage of sexual partners.

The problem is I can’t stop myself from making a play at any man I meet.

It doesn’t matter if they are married, going out with someone or recently widowed.

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Last week, I lost what I thought was going to be a great friend – until I made a pass at her husband.

I’ve heard of drugs prisons give to inmates to reduce sex drive and I wonder if a GP would consider prescribing this for me?

A. Please do chat to your GP, but I think it’s unlikely they will prescribe medication like this.

These drugs are powerful, have significant side effects and are typically only given to sexual offenders.

I’m not convinced a strong sex drive is the root of your problems. Many people have high libidos and have happy, fulfilling relationships. I believe the root cause of your problems is emotional, rather than physical.

Hopefully the doctor will refer you for counselling, which will help you understand your behaviour and suggest ways to control it.

Q. I am six months pregnant and my husband has been putting pressure on me to find out whether it’s a boy or a girl.

As we already have a daughter, he’s desperate for a son. The problem is, I want a surprise.

I have tried to explain that knowing now won’t make any difference to the eventual sex of the baby, but he will not let it go.

We’ve already had a couple of arguments about it and it’s really getting me down.

Why won’t he understand?

A. This is difficult and there’s no easy solution here.

If there is no way to reach a compromise, one of you is going to be disappointed.

If your husband is going to be seriously disappointed in another daughter, then you should consider whether you would rather this happened now.

That way he will have time to come to terms with his disappointment, rather than deal with it when the baby is born.

If there’s any chance of any negative sentiments being around during the birth, then personally, I’d rather get these out of the way now.