Well-meaning beach-cleans will not beat world’s pollution nightmare​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ – Clive Smith

An Hawaiin monk seal trapped in discarded polypropylene fishing nets
An Hawaiin monk seal trapped in discarded polypropylene fishing nets
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I don’t think a day goes by when plastic pollution isn’t being mentioned. It’s the environmental issue of the moment. The poor old polar bears and the melting ice caps aren’t getting much of a look in any more.

Soon people will become social pariahs just for using plastic and they’ll need to stand outside the pubs with the smokers.

With all the campaigns, media interest and footage of floating islands of rubbish on the seas you’d have thought it’s you and me who are to blame.

But we’re not. Not in the grand scheme of things anyway; not in the way we are made to feel guilty about not using a reusable mug when we get buy our morning coffee.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t care or not bother recycling or that we should just throw our rubbish straight into Hilsea Creek.

No-one wants to see a turtle caught up in a carrier bag, a seagull with the plastic rings from a four-pack of Kronenbourg around its neck, or, as here, an Hawaiin monk seal trapped in old plastic fishing nets.

But it’s never going to get better unless the main culprits get their own houses in order.

It’s all very well and good going down to the beach to pick up a few empty cans and some chip wrappers and fast food outlets banning plastic straws.

But when 90 per cent of all plastic pollution that ends up in the ocean comes from just 10 rivers it’s literally just a drop in the ocean. We’re fighting a losing battle.

Unsurprisingly China tops the list of the main contributors and you can probably guess the other rivers are from countries in Africa, the Middle East and Asia.

I don’t accept the excuse that these are poor countries. China is the second largest economy in the world. The fact of the matter is they just

don’t care.

Your average African couldn’t care less if you’re doing your bit and proudly sitting in Starbucks with your low carbon footprint travel mug and hemp loafers. He’s just going to go about his day lobbing junk in the Niger, catching mutant fish with seven eyes and bathing in detritus.

Surely the whole idea of Hallowe’en is to be warped?

Hallowe’en is coming up and I read that Princess Diana’s friends are angry that Kate Middleton’s family is selling princesses’ costumes covered in blood.

Get a life! It’s a Hallowe’en costume, there’s no reference to Diana and it takes some imagination to think this was the intention. Go down the Hallowe’en aisle in any supermarket and you’ll see lots of gear like this – Dr Death, Zombie Bride, Killer Clown. The whole idea of Hallowe’en is to be warped. When my girls were younger and they’d had enough of a costume, we made a few gory additions and got an evil fairy.

Quick someone call the offended police, we’ve upset Tinkerbell!

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No constant tea breaks and no moaning, bring on the robots

I saw video on Facebook the other day of a robot drylining walls. There were plenty of mocking comments about how slow it was.

Yes, it was. The robot was definitely working on a day rate not piece work. But it’s the tortoise versus the hare situation.

It may move slower, but it won’t have tea breaks, cigarette breaks, moan if it has to work all weekend and stop every few minutes to check social media. It doesn’t need anything but power and can work 24/7.

Mark my words, these things are coming, there’s no getting away from it.

We can laugh at it now, but It will happen so we might as well start forming resistance cells for when they take over.