Filming shamed me into tidying my plot

Dahlias - one of the boldest plants you can grow .

GARDENING: Brian Kidd is planning for summer with dahlias

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Liz Bourne and her family have transformed their small Southsea back garden into a grow-your-own plot for fruit and vegetables

I’ve been shamed into tidying up the garden. It’s because the Southsea Greenhouse has asked to pop round and film my chickens as part of a project chronicling their social enterprise.

The thought of a camera being anywhere near my garden and its accompanying cat poo-infested beds is beyond contemplation.

So I’ve just spent two-and-a half hours plucking out the unwanted feline deposits and picking up the dead stems of unfruitful pumpkin plants.

I then decided to find the old bits of tarpaulin that I use to cover the beds in winter.

I’m not sure why I haven’t done this earlier – probably a combination of laziness and forgetfulness.

I managed to dig them out of a corner of the garden – also used for wheelbarrows, wire mesh and, no doubt, small rodents.

I let the chickens take their pick of the wood lice and slugs that had been happily living on the tarpaulin, then covered the beds with them.

In a fit of post-rationalisation, I decided that as well as keeping the cats away and suppressing the weeds, it would also act as a blanket to warm up the soil in readiness for the spring ahead.

No doubt there are some proper gardeners out there chuckling at my ineptitude.

But I quite like bumbling along, doing things way too late or too early, and ‘experimenting’ with out-of-date seeds. And as the spring approaches, I am sure there will be many more reasons to laugh at my gardening efforts!