My garden looks like the common after a party

SOUTHSEA GREEN: Planning for the new season

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Having last week declared that I was to try an old gamekeeper’s technique for warding off feline interest in bare patches of soil in my garden, I am now in a position to report back with the results.

As part of the scientific experiment, I wisely tried two different techniques in order to compare and contrast the results.

In one notorious area I placed the half-filled plastic bottles, and in another part of the garden I strung old CDs up, all in the hope that the shiny reflections will scare them off. The latter proved totally useless, indeed the cats seemed to enjoy depositing their waste near to them, maybe hoping that some soulful tunes would be audible for their pleasure.

The bottles, however, seemed to be more successful. No deposits have been found, although this may be due to the fact that there is less space on the beds because of the bottles. Although I am of course pleased with this result, it has to be said that my garden now resembles Southsea Common after a warm Friday night. This is further exemplified by the fact that I have been setting beer slug traps, so the garden has taken on the odour of the Common as well. All I need now is to place some burnt out barbecues around the garden and the effect would be complete.

Meantime, the seeds are doing well, with more unlabelled and therefore indistinguishable seedlings emerging. What a surprise it will be when I discover what they actually are!