Counsellor Fiona Caine answers your relationship dilemmas
Q My younger sister recently got married so I was really shocked when her husband of less than six months made a pass at me.
I didn’t say anything at the time, because I didn’t want my sister to be upset. I assumed, having been given the brush-off, he’d leave it alone, but since then he’s called me practically every evening.
I’m so angry, I don’t speak to him any more and just put the phone down, but I feel so guilty. I told him I’d tell her, but he said he’d just laugh it off and convince her I’m fantasising.
A You’re not the guilty party – her husband is.
Point out records will show who is making the calls.
Is there anyone you could talk to about this – perhaps your parents – as it would help if someone else could be made aware of what’s happening?
Gather as much evidence as you can. Then decide whether to tell your sister.
I know you don’t want to hurt her but she will surely be much more hurt if she finds out and you have said nothing in spite of having proof of his behaviour.
Q A good friend has asked me to help her out as, since her boyfriend dumped her recently, she has no one else to turn to.
She wants me to stay for a week to decorate her house, pick up all her stuff from where she’s stored it and drive to her new place – a round trip of 300 miles.
I don’t want to appear mean, but should I ask her to contribute to the petrol?
A If you can’t afford the money for the petrol without it causing you hardship, then I think you should ask.
You’re willing to give your time to help her so you shouldn’t be financially out of pocket as well.
Tell her you’re happy to help, but because you’re short of money at present, could she help you with petrol costs.
Make sure she understands money is an issue for you and you are not well-off.
With petrol being the price it is, though, very few people would be offended at being asked for a contribution when someone is driving around the country for them.