I found my builders asleep in their van

What would you do if your sister's husband made a pass at you?

DEAR FIONA: My sister’s husband made a pass at me – what should I do?

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Greetings Chipsters. Well, what a week that was. You see, last winter when we had all that rain, my kennel sprang a leak. A big one.

So much water came in that it rotted the wood.

I was so miserable that my master, Lord Simon Longshanks of Maudlin, relented and let me sleep in the utility room in the stables next to the tumble dryer until the weather warmed up and I could sleep outside under the decking.

After months of waiting the builders finally turned up last week.

And, of course, they caused chaos.

As soon as they arrived they insisted on turning their radio up full blast.

My station of choice is Bloodhound FM on which they play all my favourites, such as Hound Dog by Elvis; the Beatles’s Hey Bulldog, and If Dogs Run Free by Bob Dylan.

What was I subjected to? Hours of hip hop, rap and some monstrous thing called garage.

And they managed to make a job which should have taken only a few hours last three days. And I found them asleep in their van at one point!

I think I’ll send my witch friend Pickety to spook them. Here she is, coloured beautifully by one of our new members, seven-year-old Harley Strange.Chip chip for now. Chipper