TV Licence dodgers: The top 12 excuses

Data from NSPCC shows increase in child sex offences recorded in Hampshire

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Here are the top 12 crazy excuses selected by TV Licencing.

1. Why would I need a TV Licence for a TV I stole? Nobody knows I’ve got it. (Kilmarnock)

2. I have lost weight recently and had to buy new clothes. That’s why I could not afford to buy a TV Licence. (Manchester)

3. I had not paid as I received a lethal injection. (Location unknown)

4. Apparently my dog, which is a corgi, was related to the Queen’s dog so I didn’t think I needed a TV Licence. (Belfast)

5. I don’t want to pay for a licence for a full year. Knowing my luck I’ll be dead in six months and won’t get value for money. (Cardiff)

6. I could not pay for my TV Licence because the Olympic torch was coming down my road and I could not get to the shop as the road was too busy. (London)

7. I only use my TV as a lamp. If you switch it on it gives a good glow which allows me to read my book. (Dundee)

8. The only way I can afford to pay for my TV Licence is if I sell my hamster, is that what you want me to do? (Liverpool)

9. Only my three year old son watches the TV. Can you take it out of the family allowance I receive for him? He watches it so he should pay. (Manchester)

10. I spend so much time at my neighbour’s house, we thought we would just share a TV Licence. My neighbour has the other half. (Glasgow customer a presented half a torn paper licence to a visiting Enquiry Officer)

11. I could not pay as I only have two pairs of pants and they were both in the wash. (Slough)

12. I got caught shoplifting so I’m barred from the shop that takes PayPoint payments. (Leeds)