Our agony aunt tries to solve more readers’ problems
Q: I don’t know what’s wrong with my boyfriend, but he can’t seem to stop telling lies.
Most of the time it’s fairly harmless, but last week, he disappeared for a few days and when I later spoke to him, he said his father had been diagnosed as having a brain tumour and he had to stay with his parents for a few days.
When I met his mother and said how sorry I was to hear this, she got really upset that he would use a lie like this, as it wasn’t true at all.
She then told me he’s always been like this and that they have long since given up trying to make him stop.
I don’t know how much more of this I can take as I’ve fallen for so many of his lies over the past three years.
A: Some people are compulsive liars and it’s hard to form a proper relationship with them because you never know whether they can be trusted or not.
Your boyfriend probably feels the truth about him isn’t interesting enough and so feels the need to embellish it.That indicates a deep-seated insecurity and lack of self-confidence.
Where you go from here depends on whether you are prepared to invest a large amount of emotional energy in helping this young man change his ways.
You have every good reason to walk away from this man and, unless he agrees to get help, I believe it’s something you should seriously consider.
Q: I am 18 and have just met someone I would love to ask out.
I’ve been on very few dates and I’ve never had a proper girlfriend, so I’m scared to ask her.
When I’ve been rejected by girls before, it’s taken me a long time to get over it. The other problem is, she’s older than me. Do you think that will matter?
A: For many couples, age is irrelevant, but for others, it’s a big hurdle to overcome.
You may be getting a little ahead of yourself by worrying too much about the age difference at this stage .
Your first step must be to find out whether this girl is interested in you, and you won’t know that unless you ask her.
Yes, rejection hurts, but it also hurts to let an opportunity slip through your fingers.
Write to Fiona Caine c/o Danny Randon, 1000 Lakeside, North Harbour, Portsmouth PO6 3EN or email@example.com. Fiona regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence, nor pass letters on to other readers.