DEAR FIONA: Why does my fiance want to sleep with other women?


Tuesday, 17th July 2018, 11:29 am
Updated Tuesday, 17th July 2018, 12:05 pm
A man has asked his fianc if he can have sex with other people on their holiday to the Seychelles

Fiona Caine is a trained therapist. Here she answers your relationship problems. 


Q My fiance and I are going to the Seychelles later this year but he's worried me by saying, as we are not due to get married for a year, it's okay for him to have sex with other women while we are there.

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We are both virgins and have previously agreed to not have sex until we are married. However, he says if he doesn't get it out of his system now, it might come back later and wreck our marriage.

I am not sure I could cope with him having sex with someone else, but he is being very persistent. Would it really hurt if I agreed and might it stop him from straying later? 

A If he thinks it's acceptable to sleep with other women on a romantic holiday with his fiance, I doubt it will stop him having affairs if he decides he wants to.

I also suspect this has less to do with saving your marriage and much more to do with manipulating you into agreeing to have sex with him while you are away.

Tackle this issue now.



Q I've just had an ultrasound and learned we're having twins. 

We are in a panic, because we're struggling to make ends meet already. 

A friend has suggested that I could get one adopted but I'm not sure I could go though with that. I'm so frightened.

A I know you're frightened and in shock, but please try not to make any hasty decisions. Give yourself time to think through what to do next and talk to as many sources of help as possible, starting with your GP.

I suggest you also contact the Twins and Multiple Births Association (, which provides practical support through its Helping Hands service, information, a helpline and support networks for families of twins, triplets and more.

I suggest you also contact Citizens Advice (, which has a useful section on all types of benefits. 

In case nobody else has said it though, congratulations. It won't be easy, but it will be wonderful.