Heartbroken couple seek solace at service

Ros Foley with her husband John Foley and their son Ted
Ros Foley with her husband John Foley and their son Ted

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WHEN Ros and John Foley suffered two miscarriages in six months they were heartbroken.

They desperately wanted a brother or sister for their three-year-old son Ted.

Ros, 44, said: ‘I had my first miscarriage in July 2012. I was three days away from my 12-week scan. My husband and I were heartbroken, and the months that followed were truly difficult in many ways.’

The family then suffered a second devastating blow, and also received help from Gosport counselling charity Cedar Oak.

Ros added: ‘In December 2012 I had a second miscarriage and I struggled to process how this could happen again.

‘I’d been receiving counselling from Cedar Oak and as 2013 got under way I started to feel brighter. The due date for the first loss arrived, and I felt the sadness and despair all over again.

‘The ladies at Cedar Oak kept me afloat.’

The family, of Privett Place, Gosport, heard of a church service called Saying Goodbye through the Miscarriage Association.

They went to a service held in Chichester, and today will attend one in Portsmouth Cathedral, High Street, Old Portsmouth.

Ros said: ‘It was comforting to be in the presence of other women and men affected by baby loss, people who understood the grief we were dealing with.

‘The words and music were uplifting, and strangely refreshing.

‘I would not describe myself as a religious person, but the service felt very spiritual.

‘To anyone who has suffered the loss of a child, at whatever stage of their life, I’d recommend attending a Saying Goodbye service.

‘You don’t have to join in, you don’t have to sing, you can sit quietly if that is how you feel.’

The services take place in cathedrals and minsters around the UK.

To find out more, visit sayinggoodbye.org