I just can’t trust him after being hurt in the past – Fiona Caine

Fiona says you should learn to trust your new boyfriend.
Fiona says you should learn to trust your new boyfriend.

Our agony aunt solves your personal problems. 

Since my last two boyfriends both cheated on me, I find it very hard to trust people.

My boyfriend considerate, honest and I've fallen for him in a big way but I find it so hard to trust him.

He says he loves me and that he won't cheat on me – but if he so much as looks at another woman I find myself getting angry.

If I catch him talking to another woman I get very possessive and can't wait to drag him away, which I know is stupid.

I really don't want to lose him, and I know I have to change but I don't know how.

Fiona says... You say this man is different so now you need to trust your own judgement. 

If you continue to be possessive, you risk pushing him away which you clearly don't want to do. Have you told him why you’re behaving as you do? If you explain how you've been hurt, he's likely to be more understanding.  Read Jealousy: Why It Happens And How To Overcome It, by Dr Paul Hauck, which explains the ways in which jealousy occurs and strategies for dealing with it.


I went to see my GP about getting a vasectomy but he didn't want to refer me and said I was too young.

I might only be in my twenties but my wife is a little older and we've got three great kids, which is all the family we want.

Contraception is a real chore and we think we're ready for a more permanent solution. Vasectomy would seem to be the easiest and safest option, hence my visit to the GP.

My wife wants to go back to work though, so having another child would be a disaster. Should I see another doctor?

Fiona says… If you have had a good relationship with your GP, I'd encourage you to go back and talk about it again. Why not go back and re-state your case to see how he reacts; if he's still negative then ask to see another doctor.

Alternatively, you could consider private treatment from an organisation like Marie Stopes (mariestopes.org.uk), a registered charity providing reproductive health advice and services. The cost of private treatment would probably be around £500. You will almost certainly have to go through a counselling session to ensure you are sure.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​