Why Father's Day is so special for Portsmouth's Les

DADS across the country are set to celebrate Father's Day today, but one dad in particular is looking forward to receiving a card he thought would never come.
Les from Portsmouth who adopted a seven-year-old boyLes from Portsmouth who adopted a seven-year-old boy
Les from Portsmouth who adopted a seven-year-old boy

Les, 47, from Portsmouth, thought his dream of parenthood would never materialise, but he became an adoptive parent two years ago by adopting his nine-year-old son. Since then, he’s been on an emotional and rewarding journey as a single dad.

Les explains: ‘I was in a long-term relationship with a girlfriend, we broke up out of the blue, and I honestly thought my chance of being a dad had gone. I then went to work abroad as my career was really blossoming. I wasn’t getting any younger, but felt I was missing something. I’d enjoy work but come home and think “I need something more in my life”.

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‘I’d find myself wishing I’d been a dad, wondering how amazing it would be. By chance, an adoption advert on the radio sowed a seed. I thought they wouldn’t let a single guy adopt, that they would want couples, but I went along to the information evening out of curiosity. I was amazed when they said that gender, being part of a couple, being single etc was irrelevant, that it was about the match you can offer a child. I realised then it was possible and did a lot of research.

‘I felt as a single guy that I’d not be overly suited to a baby, that a school-aged child would be ideal. The social worker understood, and explained that there can be advantages of adopting an older child, such as knowing more about their history, how they have coped with their tough start in life, how it can be the better option for some, and of course more sleep!

‘My family encouraged me, saying that I was a great uncle and would make a great dad. I was nervous but knew it was what I wanted to do, and began the approval process. As I’d worked abroad for five years, the checks took longer than normal, which was frustrating but of course they need to be done for good reason.

‘The council were really supportive along the way, and when the panel approved me we set about finding a match. I had the concept of a child aged around five in mind, but when the chance to adopt this amazing seven-year-old chap came up it just felt right.

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‘We got on straight away, but after a few weeks he was unsettled at school. His attendance before living with me was patchy, and everything had been an enormous change for him.

‘I realised then just how much responsibility I’d taken by myself.

‘Obviously a couple have each other for support, so those first few months weren’t easy. It was my family that made me realise that most of what I was worrying about was simply parenting, whether with birth or adopted children, that there are phases you need to go through and come out the other side.

‘Suddenly he settled at school, and it just got easier and easier. He got into his routines, I got into those routines, and he gelled fully with my wider family network.

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‘The council’s adoption service don’t just leave you be once you’ve adopted either. There is a lot of support from their social workers and you get to know other adoptive families that way too.

‘I couldn’t be happier.

‘On his last birthday I gave him some money, and the first thing he said was ‘Oh brilliant, I can buy you a Father’s Day present now!’

‘It brought tears to my eyes – he’s a wonderful lad.’

There is a shortage of adoptive families and foster carers in Portsmouth and Portsmouth City Council is looking for more people to provide loving homes for children.

Cllr Rob Wood, the council’s Cabinet Member for Children and Families, said: ‘One of the council’s priorities is to recruit more adoptive families and foster carers, and you can adopt or foster regardless of ethnicity, sexuality, gender, whether single or part of a couple, and whether you rent or own your own home, as long as you have a spare room. We are particularly keen to speak to anyone with any childcare experience, or experience of working with young people or people with disabilities, whether personal, professional or voluntary. If you don’t have this experience, we can help you achieve this.’

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■ Anyone interested in adopting a child, or fostering a child or young person, can attend a free drop-in event at the Solent Hotel in Whiteley (PO15 7AJ), on Saturday, July 14, 10am to 1pm. There is no need to book, people can simply drop by on the day to find out all about adoption and fostering through an informal chat with the team and families who currently adopt or foster.

■ For general information on adoption call 023 9287 5294, visit www.adoption.portsmouth.gov.uk, or email [email protected].

■ For general information on fostering call 023 9283 4071, visit www.foster.portsmouth.gov.uk, or email [email protected].

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