A four-day working week is impractical and ridiculous – Clive Smith

TUC General secretary Frances O'Grady spoke about a four-day working week when she addressed the TUC Congress in Manchester.
TUC General secretary Frances O'Grady spoke about a four-day working week when she addressed the TUC Congress in Manchester.

Frances O’Grady, TUC chief, has called on the government to take action and help people work less for more money. She made a speech at their annual conference to push for a four-day working week.

Apparently, four out of five workers want to work less and get paid the same.

Well, blow me, who’d have thought? Stating the obvious really, isn’t it? Who wouldn’t want this?

I’m guessing the one person who doesn’t is the boss. And who could blame them?

Not one company is going to pay its employees for five days when they are only working four. I certainly wouldn’t if I was running a business.

I’m not saying I want to go to work. I don’t jump out the bed with the joys of spring and skip down the garden path looking to embrace the day.

Instead, I want to smash my alarm to bits when it rings and need a gallon or two of coffee before I can make conversation with anyone. But I just can’t see this idea being realistic.

Some studies have shown that working four days increases productivity in its workers.

Then why isn’t everyone doing it already? Why stop at four days? Let’s go for three and watch productivity go off the scale!

Get the workforce down to two days a week and we’ll all be so productive. We would even see the robots out of a job.

I would run into work, wash the boss’ car in my lunch break, clear the printer of every blockage and ride home on my unicorn – sounds amazing, doesn’t it? I can’t wait for it.

It’s typical socialism in action: more for less. But, it makes me wonder who will be lumbered with paying for all of this.

It’s fine for champagne socialists, like O’Grady, to talk about this when they are giving themselves £18,000 pay rises when they already earn £175,000 a year.

But what about the rest of us?

Working less hours means less money for the exchequer, meaning higher taxes needed to cover the deficit – you would be working less hours but paying more taxes for the privilege.

All these ideas are good in principle, but are just not practical.

Surely the EU has better things to do than ban memes

The Cold War has been on and off and near the brink again. But the next upcoming stand-off will be the meme war.

The EU in all their wisdom have passed a copyright law – Article 13 or the meme killer as it’s been termed – which could basically put an end to the meme.

You’ve got all the world’s problems: poverty, disease, famine, terrorism. But the EU decides to ban memes. Ridiculous!

They’re such a huge part of the internet so it just shows how out of touch these people are. I’m glad we are leaving.

It’s getting to the stage that when there’s something the EU don’t agree with, they ban it. Now where have we seen that before? Brexit is looking better and better every day.

Do these celebrities know what to do in the kitchen? 

Rapper Snoop Dog is the latest celebrity to jump on the cooking bandwagon. He says his kitchen is ‘blazin’ and wants to share his favourite culinary delights with other food fans. 

The amount of celebrities releasing cookbooks is relentless. What do they actually know about cooking? They’re hardly experts, they’re just like you and me.

Well, not me. I can make a decent sandwich and put some pop tarts in the toaster. No one wants to watch that. 

Apparently, Snoop Dog’s book From Crook to Cook will feature 50 of the rapper’s favourite recipes from his personal collection. I’m guessing that’s a variety of space cakes.