A week of comebacks

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

Have your say

So, 75 year-old Englebert Humperdink is to represent Britain at this year’s Eurovision.

With our recent record, he can’t do any worse and he may even have a few secret weapons up his sleeve! At that age, late on a Saturday night, he might fall asleep during his own performance, thus drastically improving our chances of winning. Check out his leathery appearance – you need a thick skin to represent Britain at Eurovision, and he’s certainly got that.

The announcement that the Hump was representing Britain finally scotched rumours that Atomic Kitten were reforming to compete. Girls like Atomic Kitten don’t waste their Saturday nights on Eurovision. They’ll be down Yates’s instead!

Dexys, the band formerly known as Dexys Midnight Runners, have confirmed details of their new studio album. The follow-up to 1985’s Don’t Stand Me Down is titled One Day I’m Going To Soar and is released on June 4.

Katie Price is launching another bid for singing success, this time with her ex-boyfriend Dane Bowers. She no longer despises him, but the fact he’s given her access to a recording studio means about 60 million other Brits now do!

Keane say they are pushing themselves harder on their new album after realising greatness requires a lot of effort. Pianist and songwriter Tim Rice-Oxley said: ‘I was reading a book about The Beatles. Before the recording of Penny Lane, Sir Paul McCartney was in the studio all night doing his bass part. It sounded so effortless to me before I’d heard that.

‘I always thought, he did it in one take. But it turned out even he had to work hard.’

Catch Steve Power At Breakfast, Monday To Friday 5.30 to 9am on Wave 105.