Apparently you don’t have to be flush if you fancy running a lav

Cheryl Gibbs' train meditation was so successful she fell asleep and missed her stop

CHERYL GIBBS: My new meditation technique works a little too well

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If you think you can make money, then I’ll give you a loo for free.’

Those were the words of PCC’s leader Cllr Gerald Vernon-Jackson at last Thursday’s meeting at the Royal Beach Hotel in Southsea.

The meeting was well-attended, with many subjects to cover including Southsea Greenhouse, police update, South Parade Pier, seafront shelter, PCC public consultations and more.

But it was the public toilet closures that many wanted to complain about, including me.

Anyway after numerous objections, a smiling Cllr Vernon-Jackson threw out the challenge: ‘I’ll give you a loo for free.’

So there you are folks, if you fancy being a municipal lavatory entrepreneur, the offer’s there.

Luscious Lez and myself thought it was hilarious. We’d love a designer water closet darlings!

LL is in a mobility buggy, so to attend the meeting the hotel arranged for us to enter on the rear entrance ramp. Very good.

Except, once through the labyrinth of narrow passages the buggy wouldn’t fit into the lift.

But head chef Paul was a man on a mission. He got LL into a hotel wheelchair, and into the meeting.

So big thanks to the Royal Beach Hotel catering staff for their cheery help and determination to get a disabled woman to her destination and back.

I’d only gone to the meeting because the pamphlet listed subjects and timings.

All was going well until a man called John wanted to expose some ‘conspiracy’ about council consultations.

Iconic pop artist Andy Warhol said: ‘In the future everyone will be world famous for 15 minutes.’

Well this bloke had about 35 minutes, and it was soooo boring.

People complained – even PCC solicitor Michael Lawther said all the findings should have been submitted prior to the meeting so they could be discussed.

And finally...

My ‘Bottoms Up Award’ goes to Bushnell Porter Estate Agents in Marmion Road, Southsea, who’ve just sold Ma’s flat.

I did nothing, Tim and Derek did everything.

They were absolutely brilliant.