Apprentice star shows she’s not such a clever girl after all

COMMENT: Bandstand event is a victim of its own success

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I’ve got the energy of the Duracell bunny, the body of Jessica Rabbit and a mind like Einstein’s.’ I wish!

Nah, not me folks.

It’s the way Luisa Zissman, runner-up in BBC 1’s The Apprentice, had herself described as she made her entrance on the catwalk to the Big Brother house this week.

I’m not fussed on watching the no-talent nobodies on Big Brother, but I just can’t resist Celebrity Big Brother (CBB) darlings.

It’s just too delish when stars of screen and stage get caught on camera making absolute numpties of themselves.

Within minutes ‘up herself’ Ms Zissman was about to tickle my G spot (giggle that is).

CBB decided to make the entrance into ‘the house’ a little more interesting, and had the celebrities handcuffed in pairs.

So, Jim Davidson to Linda Nolan, Dappy (rapper) to Liz Jones (journalist ), the lovely lively hoofer Lionel Blair to Ollie Locke (Made in Chelsea), and I can’t remember the others.

Anyway supersonic bobtailed Luisa was handcuffed to former world heavyweight boxing champ Evander Holyfield.

Remember, folks, when Mike Tyson bit Evander’s ear during their fight in 1997?

Once curled up on the couch, Luisa confessed to Evander that when she met Lionel (name badge on lapel), she thought the 82-year-old soft shoe shuffle gent was Lionel Richie.

That’s Lionel Richie, the African-American singer.

Mmm, not quite the mind of Einstein then love!

So I might continue taking the odd peak at CBB over the next three weeks.

The weather’s been very scary recently.

I feel so sorry for all the people flooded out of their homes. Poor souls.

I live up four flights of stairs, on the corner near the seafront.

Fabulous in the summer dear, but in stormy weather – nightmare!

At 1.30am on Christmas Eve when 70mph winds were battering my apartment, I’m sat with a hammer, bag of nails, and the lids off my storage boxes, really frightened.

My female logic deduced that if the windows blew in I could just hammer the lids on.

Yeah, right.