As Sarah pottered, I shouted: ‘Keep away from the biscuits’

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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A new gadget has entered the Jackson household and has already been abused by yours truly.

It’s a baby monitor. We went for a bells and whistles model with the camera and screen, which also has infra-red at night. Not that we’re paranoid at all.

I set up the camera in the kitchen whilst I was checking the settings in the lounge.

As Sarah was pottering around, I followed her in true CCTV style with the camera moving to her every position.

Then I spotted the microphone facility.

‘Keep away from the biscuits’ I bellowed.

She jumped and I heard her shout out something. Is the term ‘peeping tom’ applicable for a husband ‘observing’ his wife from afar?