I’ll last about five seconds before I face plant on to the floor
It’s been wonderful watching nations lining up side by side to compete in the greatest games on Earth, with neither race nor religion coming between them and the finish line.
As a result of the inspirational stuff coming out of the velodrome I’ve managed to convince my team at work to go on an outing to the Calshot velodrome to find out which of us is the Laura Trott and the Jason Kenny of the office.
I anticipate I’ll last about five seconds before I face plant on to the floor, either through forgetting to concentrate or by showing off.
I fully expect my colleagues will do better.
The other things I’d quite like to have a go at are women’s fast fighting (Rugby 7s), the kicking (Taekwondo, if you will) and the belly flopping.
But as well as the sport, the games in Rio have been entertaining for other reasons; not least the as-yet unsolved Mystery of the Green Diving Pool, the Toilet Fishing Conundrum and, of course, the BBC Hen Party live on air.
More dramatic but not quite so excellent diversions have been caused by raging forest fires, violence towards Olympic athletes, the Great Ticket Scam, Russia, and the US swimmers’ Fight With a Toilet Door with subsequent plot twist.
As telly goes, it’s been compelling.
But today, of course, the real world will come back.
We will not be able to look at a picture of a dusty and bloody toddler pulled from the wreckage of his home in Aleppo and ignore the fact that more than 700 children in his country have not been so ‘lucky’, before turning back once again to the horse dancing or similar.
Global events are fantastic, and as I’m typing this while wearing my London 2012 T-shirt it’s fair to say I’m a big fan of the Olympics.
But sometimes you just have to get back to the real world and start to pay attention again.