Bars at either end of the high street would keep us captive

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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Gosport and Fareham high streets have both been awarded £100,000 to help with their development.

That’s awesome news. Maybe the money can be used to let cars into the centres once more.

Avoiding pedestrianisation seems to have worked for Lee-on-the-Solent and Stubbington. Okay, both are significantly smaller, but could that be the solution to our high street woes?

Or maybe the money could be divvied up between shoppers to spend on a Saturday afternoon, putting vital money in shops’ tills.

Oh, I’m just being glum. I’m sure someone will have a bright idea about how to invest the money wisely and keep us shoppers close to home. Maybe bars at either end of the high street so we can’t escape.