Be careful who you hang with

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They say that spending time with young kids helps you to stay young at heart and keeps you full of life and vitality.

After an action-packed weekend with nephews, nieces and other offspring – ranging in age between one and 17 – I’m physically and emotionally traumatised.

Since when did 15-year-old girls become the same height as a 38-year-old man?

Since when did 12-year-olds have better phones and clothes than me, even though their total income comes to £46.32 a year?

But this is the bit that really hurts (literally).

Since when did nine-year-olds (who seemed to be wearing nappies only about a week ago), become table tennis superstars that can tie a fit (OK, relatively) bloke up in knots, to the extent that he has to have a ‘sit down’ and a cold drink?

Here’s some sound advice, if you want to feel good about yourself – you know, fit and healthy and full of vitality – only hang around with the 70-year-olds.