Big Brother celebrities can carry on without me, thanks

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It’s that time of year again.

No, not the time of year where we have to try and remember to take our Christmas decorations down.

No, it’s the time of year when a group of people who used to be a bit famous, but now struggle to get recognised because any vestige of talent they might once have had has disappeared, go and attempt to live together.

I know who is in the Celebrity Big Brother house because Twitter told me.

There’s Toadie from Neighbours, Frankie Dettori, Clare from 90s band Steps, then there’s Razor Ruddock and Kathy from EastEnders, who should be useful in a stomach ache emergency.

Who the other inmates, sorry, I mean housemates, are I have no clue. I think that’s all you’ll get from me on CBB. I have better things to watch.