Boris is no buffoon '“ he deliberately spreads hatred '“ Zella Compton

There are some very, very cheap ways to stir up controversy in a column, and one of the cheapest and easiest ways is to attack people for the way that they look.

Tuesday, 14th August 2018, 1:20 pm
Updated Sunday, 2nd September 2018, 10:05 pm
Boris Johnson brings tea for the press to drink outside his house

Afraid of losing his notoriety for one moment, Boris Johnson has once again managed to keep his name at the top of the political agenda with his remarks about women wearing burkas.

And yes, his piece was about the fact he doesn't take issue with face coverings, but still, he deliberately chooses to wind up the country with barbed comments and insults designed to bolster his appeal to those on the right.

You know what? There was no need to talk about how he perceives a piece of cloth around a face '“ that's the cheap laugh.

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The man has a mirror, if he really wants to delve into responses to outward appearances, he could start with himself (see how cross I am? I'm almost falling to his levels).

But he'd somehow managed to carefully craft a very thick wall of untouchable around himself.

This man is no fool, I believe he's super shrewd hiding in plain sight, carefully calculating the persona of a buffoon, and using that cover to sow hatred and mistrust in order to further his political agenda '“ he has been a man in waiting for a very long time.

Surely he has studied the mastermind of picking at uneasy scabs, Donald Trump, and is casually carrying on his campaign to make the UK a worse place for people.

Let's not forget the countless lies Boris has been caught out in which are parroted as truth by people who should know better, the countless apologies he's been asked to make time and time again (one quick google and it's all laid out all over the internet).

We all suspect his end game, the position he wants, but whatever your political persuasion the question surely has to be whether we our country can ever be represented by someone with a mouth as vile as his?

If the conservatives had an ounce of sense they'd evict him from the party.

In this hi tech world, why is voting registration still in the dark ages? 

I wonder how much it costs the council to send out the voting registration paperwork?

All that individual printing, and hand delivery and the pre-paid envelope.

It feels like a colossal waste of money given that we haven't moved in over a decade, and suspect that at least 80 per cent of our street haven't either.

I googled the average length of time people live in one place but have fallen foul of statistical snobbery as the main result, from Zoopla, suggests once every 23 years '“ which feels wrong.

With advances in technology pushing us forward in so many areas of our lives, isn't it time to look at voting registration? Not that I have a plan, other than the useless '˜something must be done'.

A squirrel on a mission is more fun than a baby bird

Brilliantly bizarre '“ a man called the police in Germany as he was being chased by a baby squirrel and it wouldn't leave him alone.

According to one national newspaper, when the police arrived, the squirrel promptly fell asleep, exhausted by its exertions of trying to find a parent '“ in whatever form '“ to care for it.

This story reminded me of a children's book, rather unimaginatively titled Are you my mother?' by PD Eastman about a baby bird which falls from its nest and then asks many things if they are the parent '“ including industrial machinery if I remember correctly.

That book was read constantly, and I have no idea why as it was, frankly, turgid.

Much better to have featured a squirrel with intent and a touch of narcolepsy.