The most magical thing about returning home to the south coast after a couple of days away in London has to be the taste of salt in the air.
Stepping off the bus at The Hard in Portsmouth, it’s a tonic without the gin.
No wonder sea air was used as a cure-all throughout history. It’s brisk and refreshing and makes me wonder why some entrepreneur doesn’t bottle it and sell it to rich people who live inland.
Actually, I might well have bought some while I was in London if it had been on sale – I missed it that much.
Every time I go to London, I get a longing to be young again, living in the city and enjoying all that the capital has to offer.
It takes me about 24 hours to remember that the crush of the underground is only worth marvelling at for the first short Tube ride.
After that, when a sweaty armpit ambushes your nose, the joy of travelling via Tube disappears as quickly as the Isle of Wight when the rain’s coming in.
Mind you, the escalators are good for one’s figure, if you walk up them all instead of standing on the edge trying to keep bags and other personal items safely tucked in.
On the theme of transport, I’ve taken to catching the bus to and from London as it’s so cheap compared to the train and I also know that I’ll get a seat.
The slight problem is that the bus is a victim of the traffic on the way in. I wish National Express would get itself a bus stop in south London, at the end of a Tube line, thus cutting off the hour where I sit in queues wishing I’d caught the train and working out the cash per minute that it would have cost me compared to the pain of being stationary.
Bottled sea air would perhaps help me to overcome these stresses. The air could come either as an aerosol to spritz around you, or in a canister with straws.
The latter would allow you to stuff the pipes right up your nasal passages to get the full effect.
There would be no embarrassment about snorting this product, or hiding away in toilets to have a good hit.
You know what, I might just go ahead and do this bottled air myself.
Anyone else want in?