CHERYL GIBBS: Moaning won't help me fit into a bikini

My weight fluctuations over the years have been a constant burden.

Thursday, 21st June 2018, 6:46 pm
Updated Thursday, 21st June 2018, 6:48 pm
Cheryl has struggled with her weight since she was a teenager

Since I was a teenager I’ve had to exercise to keep my weight down and I started going to the gym with my dad when I was just 14.

But a girl’s got do what a girl’s got to do.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t blessed with a fast metabolism, quite the opposite in fact, so I’ve had to work harder than a lot of other people I know to keep my figure in shape, or relatively so.

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I’ve tried every type of diet going, Weight Watchers, Slimming World (where I actually got applauded for simply turning up because I just couldn’t lose weight on it), meal plans that are delivered to your door, the lot.

My latest thing has been to try the enw veggi plan by Joe Wicks, AKA the Body Coach.

In 90 days I can apparently get a body like Pamela Anderson – minus the gigantic boobs, which yet again I wasn’t blessed with.

Okay, so perhaps they don’t actually promote it exactly like that, but none-the-less I’ve waited a long time for a diet for vegetarians.

This plan is split into three different cycles with different food and work-out options.

So far I’ve achieved five days of sticking to it and I feel like I should be given a medal, no joke.

As much as the workouts are suitable and can easily be fit into a day (the longest workout video is 35 minutes) the sheer amount of food preparation required is unbelievable, and I mean totally unbelievable.

I spent about £100 on food to get myself ‘prepping like a boss’ but it was the total chaos that my kitchen was left in on Sunday after a seven-hour prepping marathon that left me reeling.

I chopped about 10 onions. Okay, so that’s a lie, I usually buy the pre-chopped version. Don’t judge me.

But it was a good thing I had because everything else I’d prepared took the stuffing out of me.

I’ve never had so much food in the house. Still, with less than three weeks until our holiday and an itsy bitsy teenie weenie polka dot bikini to squeeze into, I guess I’d better crack on and stop whingeing!

A HORROR THAT LEFT US IN STITCHES

You should never trust Facebook when it comes to people’s personal recommendations.

I learned the hard way last weekend when I saw on Facebook that a friend of mine had gone to see the new horror film Hereditary and had given it a rave review on Facebook.

Having seen most other flicks that were on we decided to give it a go and, in our defence, it had Hollywood actress Toni Collette as the leading lady and she’s a brilliant actress so what could possibly go wrong?

Seemingly everything. Please. Do. Not. See. This. Movie.

My god, it’s the strangest film I’ve ever witnessed and the only horror film that had the cinema in stitches laughing – at it, rather than with it. .

It started off okay, but by the end of it I was left quite literally flabbergasted. So, take it from me, do your own research and don’t rely on recommendations from friends.

A BIT OF AN OWN GOAL

If I hear one more time that the World Cup ‘only happens every four years’ I’m going to scream – or really hurt someone.

More than likely it will be my husband who has spoken these annoying words. He’s done so continually since the darn thing started and I already feel like I’m going to pull my hair out.

I love the odd England game now and then, and will no doubt be one of those glory hunters that only watch the games when a team is doing well, but I’m okay with that.

I’m fickle and shallow, but at least I admit that.

However, I don’t see the need or point in watching Neymar or Paraguay. I mean, what importance does that really hold for us Brits?

But according to Matt they all matter, whatever that means. And, yes, I admit ‘The World Cup only happens every four years.’