I’ve had problems on and off with my mouth for about five years – ever since I went to see my sisters get married in Cuba and had to have my tongue lasered, which I’m pretty sure is banned or not practised in most parts of the western world.
Anyway, I was in so much pain I was willing to try just about anything.
So I did and it helped – for a short time.
Over the years, usually during spells of stress – be it lengthy commutes to London, long working hours or conditions, or financial troubles – my mouth flares up again.
It’s been particularly bad over the past few months so I paid to go private and have a biopsy on my mouth at Spire hospital because it was going to take too long to get the results on the NHS.
It turns out I have something called oral lichen planus which is a kind of mouth disease. Doesn’t sound very nice does it?
There’s no cure and not a lot they can do, but apparently diet can play a big part in alleviating some of the symptoms.
So this week I have forensically examined my diet, stripped it right back.
Now this is upsetting for several reasons, one being the fact I’m already a strict vegetarian so wasn’t quite sure how much else I could cut out. Turns out there’s quite a bit.
As well as stripping out gluten and dairy I’ve been told to stop drinking alcohol and coffee. Completely.
Oh, and I’m also not allowed fruit because it can be acidic.
This basically means I’m left with vegetables and herbal tea and I hate the latter.
Can you imagine what I’ve been like this week?
Let’s just say Matt and my poor mum have caught the brunt of it and it’s not even the booze ban that bothers me the most or at least not at the moment because the weekend’s not quite here.
But it’s the coffee. I only allow myself to have one a day, but I rely on that one coffee and I’ve had a heavy head most days as a result of not having it. How bad is that?
On the plus side, I’ve lost a bit of weight – well, who wouldn’t if they were only eating plants?
I may become slightly slimmer as a result, but if you see me in the street in the coming few weeks a word of advice: give me a wide berth and remember I’ve not had my coffee that day.
LONG LIVE THE PLAYBOY KING
I was sad to hear that the king of Playboy, Hugh Hefner, had died at the age of 91.
My God, what a life that man had!
He was the envy of men all over the world and created a global empire based on sex. He was proud of it and people loved him for it.
I can only imagine the stories that would be told if the walls of his Playboy Mansion in the US could talk.
Hugh was famous for having multiple girlfriends who all lived with him simultaneously.
Needless to say he wasn’t an advocate of monogamy and he wasn’t afraid to live up to his reputation.
He didn’t care who knew it and for that my friends he will always remain a legend.
He died at his legendary mansion surrounded by the ones who loved him most and quite frankly it’s all any of us can ever hope for in our final hours.
Long will his reputation and brand live on.
FORGET ROYAL PROTOCOL – I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND
Prince Harry broke royal protocol this week by showing a public display of affection during his first outing with US hollywood actress and divorcee Meghan Markle.
The Suits actress has been dating our prince for quite some time, but it was only this week when she accompanied him to the opening of the Invictus Games in Canada did they step out together.
They were papped holding hands – something royals traditionally aren’t supposed to do in public.
However Prince Harry, along with brother Prince William and wife Kate have breathed new life into the British monarchy.
They are the face of a more approachable, modern-style of royal family.
Quite honestly the public love them all the more for it. I think an engagement announcement is imminent – mark my words!