Christmas cards should have a longer shelf life to save money

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Bearing in mind what a hassle it is to send Christmas cards, I’ve had an idea.

I reckon we should be able to buy really good quality cards and send them to people, but that card should then cover us for the next five Christmases, so we don’t have to send those people another for the next five years.

If the card’s a good quality one it should easily last five years. All the recipient has to do is put it away carefully and bring it out next year and the year after that, and so on.

It’ll save us a fortune in the long run, and if we store all the old cards with our decorations we can put them up all in one go too.

The five-year Christmas card, it’s a winner!

Oh, and bearing in mind how most Christmases in Britain tend to be relatively mild, with a couple of recent exceptions, why don’t our Christmas cards contain scenes of rainfall, or scenes where there’s loads of grey slush on the ground?

That would be more realistic, surely.

Still feeling festive, I was doing a bit of Christmas research the other night, and I discovered that some of Santa’s elves have names.

Among the names for his elves, I found Elisa, Aaron, Roger, Ju-Jube, Francois, Gralofski, Cotelle, Candy, Claudes, Noe and Brandon.

Now, I don’t wish to put down Santa, but if I was holding job interviews and someone told me their name was Ju-Jube, I’m not sure I’d employ them. It’s a daft name.

And how can you employ an elf called Noe? That would lead to loads of confusion in the workplace – ‘Come here, Noe – Yes, Noe, come here’…

Interestingly, I’ve discovered how you work out your ‘elf name’. You take your first name, then you put it before your surname, then you put on a pointy green hat with bells on and see what people shout at you!

And that’s your elf name!