Christmas wrapping has never been my forté – Lesley Keating 

Lesley dreads that time of year when she has to get sticking and cutting.
Lesley dreads that time of year when she has to get sticking and cutting.

Sorry to use the C word but it’s only a matter of 12 weeks until Christmas!  And I’ve got to face facts.  I will soon have to wrap presents. 

Wrapping is not my strong point.  It’s not that I can’t wrap things, it’s just that… I don’t want to. 

I loathe doing it and get bored and horribly side-tracked after the first attempts.  It’s actually up there with ironing as one of my most hated tasks, which I also skilfully manage to avoid for most of the year. 

I’d go as far as saying I wrap things on par with a visually challenged five-year-old, made worse by having a daughter who wraps like a consummate pro. 

If she ever decides to give up a musical career, she could probably make a fortune starting up a gift-wrapping business. 

I’m actually good at selecting stylish paper, bows and everything else to make the present look pretty. So, the intention is pure.

But hand me a pair of scissors and the Sellotape and it all goes downhill from there and every drop of Christmas cheer and magic mysteriously vanishes. 

I’ve tried playing a Christmas compilation and knocking back a couple of seasonal brandies while I attempt to get in the mood, but I am sure you can imagine how that ends… 

I’ve even considered wrapping everything in scrunched silver tinfoil as it doesn’t need much skill, cutting or sticking but still has a certain Christmassy ‘je-ne-sais-quoi’ about it. 

However, you can’t write directly onto it with Biro – my preferred option as labels are way too much like extra hard work.

And, besides, I’d hate everyone to assume they were being given a baked potato for a gift. 

On the odd occasion that I’ve actually done a reasonable job, it irritates the hell out of me to see it ripped apart in nanoseconds and all my hard work being shoved into a bin liner afterwards.

So, short of doling out unimaginative gift vouchers this year or scouring Eventbrite for courses in ‘Gift-Wrapping for Idiots’, I am at a loss. 

Any suggestions would be gratefully received.

If we all drove correctly, the roads would be a safer place

Police are going to be cracking down on tailgating – driving too close to the car in front – this autumn.

I’ve already experienced someone hitting me from behind

One morning I drove back from my Yoga class with a small metallic blue hatchback literally riding on my back bumper all the way home. It remained there despite me touching the brakes a few times to see if the driver would pull back. 

Imagine my surprise when I noticed it was actually a branded driving school car with just the instructor on board! I’m not going to name and shame but it’s out there in the Portsmouth area teaching kids to drive. 

Makes you think!

School reunions are scary – we’re not teens anymore!

I was sad when I missed a reunion at my West London school. But now have a chance of another!

I was initially excited about the idea of seeing who’s there I know and maybe even rekindling a few friendships. But, after looking into it, I’m seriously thinking twice.

None of us have kept in touch since school, so how would we even recognise anyone? 

After seeing last year’s video of a crowd of completely anonymous 50-plussers, all doing ‘Oops Upside Your Head’ wearing novelty hats with an ancient DJ spinning the decks, I disagree. 

On refection, I don’t think it’s quite my thing.

Maybe best left in the past.