CLIVE SMITH: Come the revolution, I'd double the number of walk-on girls

So, you've always wanted to be a model. You've finally got your big break, on TV no less, but someone has been offended on your behalf and now you're outside the job centre, smoking roll-ups, sharing cans of Tennents Super and someone's Staffy has just peed on your Louboutin shoes '“ so much for empowering women.
Clive would like to see more walk-on girlsClive would like to see more walk-on girls
Clive would like to see more walk-on girls

After the fall-out from the Presidents Club scandal the Professional Darts Corporation (PDC) has caved in to the constantly offended minority and put a stop to the walk-on girls.

How is making women unemployed furthering the feminist cause?

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They’ll have bills to pay, families to look after and now this has been taken away from them. It’s women oppressing women and I can see 2018 is going to be just as ludicrous as 2017.

Feminists are all for having women make their own choices, that is until it’ something a feminist doesn’t like. At one time it was about women having a level playing field, now it’s more about bullying and dictating.

I don’t believe these walk-on girls are demeaning themselves. They are obviously proud of how they look and have chosen a profession that can make the most of this. No one has forced them to do this. It’s not like it’s some Roman slave auction and the girls are paraded around Alexandra Palace to baying crowds.

They walk in, in front of the players, with a sash on and a sparkly dress. They are on for about a minute. If I was in charge of the PDC I’d double the anumber of walk-on girls just to stick two fingers up to all the jealous moaners.

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If you don’t like it, don’t become a model or go for these jobs, don’t watch the darts, boxing or Formula One.

Has anyone actually asked the girls if this is what they want? Don’t pretend you know what is best for someone else!

I don’t see anyone crying about Saturday prime time show Take Me Out in which a man is paraded in front of 30 women. Talk about double standards.

It won’t be long now before women aren’t allowed to walk the streets unless they have their arms and legs covered. May as well introduce compulsory burkas for all women.

GRANDAD: WHAT DID YOU DO DURING THE GREAT NUTELLA RIOTS?

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Not since July 14, 1789, has France seen so much civil unrest.

Alongside the storming of the Bastille, January 25, 2018, will now be forever etched in Wikipedia as the day France witnessed The Great Nutella Riots.

That’s right, our friends across the Channel stormed supermarkets after retailers reduced the price of the hazelnut cocoa spread by 70 per cent.

Police were called as violence erupted with shoppers being described as ’animals’.

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Wow, of all the things the citizens of that country should be taking to the streets for, it’s a sandwich spread for God’s sake.

Imagine, in 50 years, while Pierre is snacking on a crusty loaf and Brie, and the grandkids ask him: where were you during the Great Nutella Riots?

FAR TOO WARM FOR PILLOW TALK

Out of all the night-time habits, snoring has to be the most infuriating and it’s always the snorers who are the first to fall asleep. At least let me get to sleep before you start.

Aldi are looking to stop all this though as they release an anti-snore pillow. How on earth does it work?

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I wonder if the instructions tell you to place the pillow over the snorer’s face and push down until it stops!

I won’t be spending my money on it. A leg-press to the back and the missus then exiting then bed seems to have the desired effect.

I’m just patiently waiting for a pillow that actually stays cold. Flipping the pillow over to get the cold side is really wearing thin now.

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