CLIVE SMITH: English pigs? Don’t bite the hand that feeds you

Clive Smith says he would not like to arm wrestle athlete Caster Semenya ''Picture: Martin Rickett/PA Wire
Clive Smith says he would not like to arm wrestle athlete Caster Semenya ''Picture: Martin Rickett/PA Wire
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Another week goes by and there’s yet more civil unrest as across Europe left-leaning agitators are knocking up banners, burning cars and graffitiing buildings in protest against tourists.

There’s nothing like biting the hand that feeds you, is there?

One particular group of demonstrators made a nice banner declaring ‘This is not a beach resort’ while standing on a beach.

It shows how much these people have between the ears.

I hope they succeed in what they want though. Let’s see how things look over there in a year without any tourism.

The economies of many of these places would be crippled, they’d end up becoming ghost towns.

Some of the once-thriving seaside resorts in England are fine examples of this – all they’ve got to offer now is unemployment, spice addicts and depression.

I doubt very much the hoteliers and bar owners are particularly happy about all the protests. Where is their business going to come from?

I was on a stag do and we were in a bar, we’d been in their all day, so were spending a decent amount of money.

We were having a good time, probably loud, but it wasn’t as if we were on the tables singing 10 German Bombers and swinging T-shirts around our heads.

But one of the locals still called us ‘English pigs with your beer bellies and tattoos’ and then asked the manager to throw us out. The manager threw him out and went to the shop and bought more Jagermeister for us.

So, this is where the problem lies. No doubt he would be supportive of these protestors, but without tourism the place would be shut and he wouldn’t be in there anyway.

The odd bloke popping in for half a lager and a few olives isn’t going to keep it open.

Obviously, there are the idiots who go too far. I’ve been to Benidorm and it was like Guildhall Walk x 10. I saw more fights than a charity boxing night down the Pyramids and a stabbing thrown in for good measure.

Imagine Benidorm without the English tourists though – a few scabby dogs running about the main strip and Sticky Vicky putting together a new routine involving tumbleweed.


What an awesome sight it was seeing HMS Queen Elizabeth coming into her home for the first time.

It was a proud day for Britain and the city of Portsmouth.

There were the naysayers coming out with their usual boring comments about its cost, the NHS and even that it should be used for the homeless.

Use £3bn worth of the most advanced warship in the world to house the homeless? Get a grip!

It was great with all the people cheering her in and the little boats out on the sea.

Britain does these patriotic events really well.

It’s exciting times for the Royal Navy with new ships coming into service and even better that Portsmouth is at the heart of it all.


When your daughter looks up at you and says ‘Dad, why is there a man in the women’s race?’

I looked up and have to admit I thought Didier Drogba had taken up athletics.

I’m not sure I’d be overlyhappy being a woman in the 800m and to look across the starting line and see Caster Semenya limbering up.

She has levels of testosterone that are three times higher than expected in women. She has no womb or ovaries, but instead internal testes.

Is she a man, a woman? She certainly runs and looks like a man.

Maybe it’s just a biological advantage.

Good luck to her if it is.

I just wouldn’t want to meet her in an arm wrestling competition.