CLIVE SMITH: Hypocrisy of the litter louts who want to the save planet

The litter strewn around the Pyramid Stage area as the clean up operation begins on site, at the Glastonbury Festival, at Worthy Farm in Somerset.  PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Monday June 30, 2014. Photo credit should read: Yui Mok/PA Wire YPN-140630-121400038
The litter strewn around the Pyramid Stage area as the clean up operation begins on site, at the Glastonbury Festival, at Worthy Farm in Somerset. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Monday June 30, 2014. Photo credit should read: Yui Mok/PA Wire YPN-140630-121400038

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Glastonbury is over for another year and the £785,000 clean-up is under way.

Apparently 1,000 tonnes of rubbish were left behind taking up to six weeks to clear.

The pictures don’t make great viewing. There’s no excuse for leaving it in that state.

I know you’ll always get litter at events with lots of people, but this one takes the biscuit.

It looks like a landfill site. All it needs is a few malnourished kids picking through the rubbish and a tearful celebrity and it could be a scene from Comic Relief.

Most of the festivalgoers spend all year preaching their environmentalist dogma and then leave places like this strewn in rubbish.

The hypocrisy of it all: they go about all year in the same clothes pretending they’re saving the earth by voting for the Green Party and signing as many anti-fracking petitions as possible, and then throw all their old cans, bottles and morals straight on the ground.

If these were travellers who had rocked up to a pleasant green in the middle of a village and left it like that, everyone would be up in arms.

But it seems the ‘entitled’ youth of middle England can do what they like.

Greenpeace is a sponsor of this event. It says: ‘Our vision is a greener and more peaceful world.’ This is the same organisation which highlights the amount of plastic rubbish dumped in the sea every year. What a joke.

When not home to a throng of revellers for a few days, Worthy Farm, where the festival is held, is a working dairy farm.

The barns where the animals live are probably more inhabitable than the 900-acre site once everyone has gone back to their normal lives forming human chains around the mating sites of the great crested newt and screaming about drowning polar bears.

Maybe I’m just getting old and grumpy and this sort of thing is acceptable nowadays.

I certainly didn’t enjoy the snippets of music I caught on TV.

My Facebook feed was filled with people loving Radiohead. I had one hand in the medicine cabinet wanting to end my life.

DOPING IS NOW SO COMMONPLACE WE MIGHT AS WELL LEGALISE DRUGS

Plans are afoot to scrap all world records set in athletics that took place pre-2005 when blood and urine samples were not stored.

I’m sure Paula Radcliffe and Jonathan Edwards are over the moon...

It seems we’ve got to the stage now where doping is so commonplace that question marks are raised against any outstanding performance.

So this means we might as well just have a games where performance-enhancing drugs are allowed.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to see the 100 metres run in six seconds and the pole vault world record set at 30 metres?

Why not even incorporate all forms of drugs into it, dosing a horse with 5mg of ketamine would certainly make the show jumping more interesting.

GREAT WHITE? IT WILL BE NESSIE BASKING IN HILSEA LIDO NEXT

A dolphin has popped up in Portsmouth harbour and shortly after there were sightings of a great white shark in the waters around Hayling Island.

All we need now is the Portuguese man o’war to be spotted off West Wittering and we may as well forget bothering to enter the sea again.

Until there’s absolute proof of the great white, I’m going to remain sceptical about the whole thing.

Every unidentified object seen in the sea is now going to be Jaws.

Hysteria will reach fever pitch and everyone will be jumping in boats armed with harpoons and hand grenades looking to end the deadly beast.

Well, that’s until someone spots the cousin of Nessie down at Hilsea Lido.