Floppy handshakes are an abomination | Blaise Tapp

I lost my dad when I was aged just 12. Even with the passing of time, my recollections of him remain crystal clear and many of the life lessons he handed down have been adhered to.

The one pearl of wisdom which has really stuck with me after all these years is his insistence that first impressions really matter. I am not saying for a second that I have always got this bit right as I can – occasionally – give off vibes which suggest that I may have been at the blue Smarties all day.

In my calmer moments, I remember my Old Man’s golden rule – a good firm handshake always leaves a good, lasting first impression, especially when complemented with meaningful eye contact.

I always wince inside whenever I encounter somebody who gets this basic social function wrong, as a poor handshake is very hard to put out of one’s mind.

Floppy, wet fish greetings are an abomination and are only topped for awfulness by half-wits who interpret ‘firm’ as an invitation to break every bone in the recipient’s hand.

Sadly, shaking hands could very well be consigned to the history books if the fallout from the pandemic continues for much longer, making the idea of any physical contact with anybody other than those closest to us is as appealing as licking the pavement.

As a tactile sort, the very idea of not being able to stretch out a welcoming paw to friends and strangers alike leaves me cold, even though we now know that before coronavirus there were many out there who did not wash their hands properly, if at all.

If this is a lasting legacy of the current madness, the world will be much worse off for it as humans respond best to some sort of physical contact.

Then there is the art of shaking hands – if we stop doing it long enough will anybody ever remember how to do it properly? My old dad will be looking down from his vantage point with great interest.