How can I motivate my son to get a part-time job? | BBC Radio Solent's Alun Newman

A man with an estate car would drop off a pile of newspapers that even Geoff Capes couldn’t carry in one go.

I’d stack them on to my go-cart and traipse around the housing estate getting half a penny a paper.

Even in those days, I knew this was madness.

I attempted to outsource my paper-round to someone who was even more stupid than me.

They became enlightened at paper number 30 and threw the rest into a builder’s skip.

I was fired. Thank the lord. I moved on to cutting grass (which I loved) and then on to the dizzy heights of working in a supermarket.

Do you remember Safeway? It was the first and only job that required a bow tie!

I was 16 and earning big bucks. I think I was motivated to work because money wasn’t sloshing around.

We were by no means poor but if I wanted stuff - sweets, comics and devil bangers. remember those? They were small paper caps that you throw and I now find these items offensive and want them banned - I needed the funds to pay for them at the time.

It was also kind of expected that you would look for work. My elder sister had and those who followed would have the same work DNA passed on.

I’m now looking to see whether I can keep this process going for my eldest. We’ve been through a few jobs.

There was the chip shop but a difference of opinion and the draw of a pretty girl meant the P45 was issued.

Then the supermarket, following in dad’s footsteps, I was so proud.

That didn’t last long. My son said to me that he doesn’t think retail is the avenue he should take (I did the parental unaffected face but inside I was throwing every toy I had out of the emotional pram).

Now I find myself with a human much larger than me needing motivation.

I know it’s nerve-wracking for some people to get out there and try and potentially fail. It’s a wall that must be scaled though. It’s a mountain that must be climbed. We’ve all been there and it makes for our working history. It gives us great fodder for stories later in life.

More importantly, it gives another level of independence. This independence is not always welcome. Especially when, at 10.30pm, a Dominoes delivery appears and someone shouts ‘It’s for me! We had a vegetarian dinner and it never fills me up!’

The cheek of it. Although I agree and would love to eat pizza at 10.30pm on a weekday, I never let on and I refuse a slice as part of my maintaining the unconvincing role-model parent act.

With all this in mind, I hear very few people ask ‘Alun, what’s the answer?’ Well, come close, as it must be whispered. I’m giving my son responsibility for his own monthly phone contract. I know, it’s a slow burner, but the pin has been pulled and the tin hat is on.

We know that no young person can survive without that. The order goes, oxygen, water, phone followed by food, shelter, sanitation and healthcare.

I knew it was time and if we care for our children enough we’ll all face different challenges that require tough love.

The next big decision is to decide whether I also stop the pocket money – only joking although we do pay him to walk the dog.

Greetings cards and the great gender divide

I have some shocking facts for you. Eighty per cent of greeting cards are purchased by women.

When buying a card women spend on average 15.2 minutes deciding. Men spend an average of 5.3 minutes.

Most women love getting cards, notes, messages, words that have been curated. Most men either don’t know this or don’t understand it’s value. Let’s come to an arrangement?

Could all women reading this stop buying men cards and invest that cash in the gift and just stick a post-it on it.

Could all men realise that if we don’t get a handle on the importance of cards then women will keep sending them to us and the chain can never be broken?

With the price of some cards now so expensive people actually start crying in card shops that should be motivation enough.

Men, the next card we send should read something like this, ‘I love you, you’re unique, a precious gift. Please would you stop sending/buying me cards and instead invest that cash in the main gift? In return for this act of love, I will continue with cards and reduce the value of your main gift. Yours forever (add your name here not mine, of course).’

I wrote this article and then tried it out on my wife. Please, under no circumstances include the bit about reducing the value of their main gift.