I'm so sad to stop breastfeeding | Cheryl Gibbs

Breastfeeding is such a wonderful thing to do and I’ve loved every minute of it, but after five months of doing it (as well as bottle feeding) I fear it’s coming to an end.
Cheryl (37) with her husband Matt Kingston (40) and their daughter Harley (4 months old).

Picture: Sarah Standing (260520-3068)Cheryl (37) with her husband Matt Kingston (40) and their daughter Harley (4 months old).

Picture: Sarah Standing (260520-3068)
Cheryl (37) with her husband Matt Kingston (40) and their daughter Harley (4 months old). Picture: Sarah Standing (260520-3068)

Harley no longer wants it and I can’t help but feel a bit rejected.

Pathetic? Maybe.

When she was born she latched on immediately and I was so impressed with how easy it was. A day or two later when my milk came in properly and my breasts resembled rugby balls sitting under my chin, the realities of breastfeeding became apparent.

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For someone who only has small boobs anyway, suddenly having gigantic melons was rather odd, to say the least.

They may have been enormous but the milk wouldn’t come out properly.

It would only come out in little drips and, I kid you not, my sister, Michelle, came in to the hospital and milked me.

Seriously, she actually sat on the end of the bed and compressed my boobs until the milk came out.

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I was so tired and had nothing left to give so I just sat there chatting to people as she squeezed the milk out, chuffed to bits that little drips came out on the spoon.

Fast forward five months and we got there, it really was a joint effort.

While Harley had no trouble latching on, she refused to drink from my right boob which left my poor left one to do all the work – hence why, in the end, I had to mix feed her.

One boob simply didn’t produce enough milk to satisfy what the midwives called a ‘milk monster.’

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Breastfeeding helped massively with bonding – I loved that I could help provide what she needed.

It’s such a primitive and primal thing to feed your baby, and while I wholeheartedly agree that ‘fed is best’ (a mixture of breast and formula milk), I would encourage anyone who might be sitting on the fence about whether to breastfeed, to give it a go.

Unfortunately, after five months of doing both, our little lady has decided that she no longer needs it from me and I’m having to reluctantly accept that she’s developing her own opinions whether I like them or not…

Forget work, I could happily stay home with our baby

People keep saying to me ‘I bet you can’t wait to go back to work, can you?’ Which I find a bit strange.

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I can see why people would have assumed that – after all, I’ve always had a very full-on career.

But I have to admit I’ve loved being at home being a mum. While I know I need to go back (pennies are getting tight) and it will be nice to think about things other than when nap time is and how many ounces of formula to make up, I could, quite honestly, continue living in this little bubble that we’re in.

I love it, and I’ve loved being a full-time mum who is very present every day. My father-in-law recently commented: ‘You’ve changed, Cheryl.’ I guess I have…

Venturing into the outside world was weirdly wonderful

So, did you go to the pub last weekend? We didn’t rush out to go for a drink and still haven’t ventured in to a pub for a pint as such, but we did meet some family for a meal out on Monday.

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We went to Port Solent and it was lovely but it felt strange.

The atmosphere in the restaurant just wasn’t the same. But how can it be when half the tables have been removed and there are so many rules to adhere now, and quite rightly so.

Perhaps it’s because we’ve been indoors for so long and are now used to our little bubble, or perhaps it’s because we wondered whether it was too soon to venture out.

Either way, we did and it felt weirdly wonderful.

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