It’s time for empathy for those in fear of coronavirus | Verity Lush

Rather than keeping calm and carrying on, the government has been squirreling away hand sanitizer and ignoring the need to restrict travel and welcoming folk from stricken areas.

Given seasonal flu has a death rate of less than one per cent, and coronavirus is around 3.4 per cent, it must be of real concern to those whose health is already compromised.

Instead of vilifying people who are worried, let’s empathise and look out for vulnerable neighbours if the time arises.

Don’t be a flying monkey – stand up for what’s right

I was watching a TED talk this week. Have you ever heard of a covert narcissist (CN)? There is no blatant self-adoration for the covert of the species.

Instead, this is the standard narcissist’s slyer, more manipulative sister.

You’ll meet them. Partners that you’ve had, family members, maybe even a boss.

Ever started a new job and been swept up, flattered to within an inch of your paycheck, and put on a pedestal, only to get kicked off later, in an unwarranted manner after you’ve inadvertently made them feel threatened, or questioned their decisions?

Chances are that if this is the case, then you’ve direct experience of one.

The covert narcissist wants to be in firm control. They’ll have what are apparently known as flying monkeys, willing agents that they’ve manipulated to do their bidding, or who are too enthralled – or concerned for their own career – to question them.

Sly smear campaigns will be started, perhaps questioning your work ethic, and all the while the CN will be schmoozing the daylights out of their flying monkeys, fluffing up their wings, and weaving little webs, while you’re left excluded on the peripheries, as far away as they can get you from the inner-circle.

The problem with the CN is that when they’re love-bombing you in an effort to get you to do what they want you to, they can’t resist boasting about their tactics, so when it’s all eventually turned on you, you’ll recognise it a mile away.

Fortunately, forewarned is forearmed, and getting out ASAP is the best solution all round.

In some ways, the flying monkeys are worse than the CN who is clearly an unbalanced individual.

The monkeys are the bystanders in life – the friends on social media who don’t come forward in real-life to stand up for their mates.

They are the employees who avert their eyes or join the gas-lighting of the victim, someone they may have worked with for years, been friends with even, yet who they are happy to cast aside in the blink of an eye. Shame on them.

One shouldn’t judge books – or people – by their covers

I am an absolute bookworm. I once set up a Facebook group called the Pass It On Bookclub, where members would offer up a paperback that they had finished.

Fellow readers would like the post and the owner of the book would draw a random name and then pass, or post, the paperback onto the winner.

I even took part in the first ever BBC World Book Night. I was given several specially printed copies of my choice from their list of reads to give away, free, on the day.

Disappointingly, many people I tried to pass them to thought I was trying to sell them something. I was even sworn at. Laughable but an interesting glimmer of our predilection for judging books – and people – by their covers.