Longleat’s pesky monkeys have cost me a small fortune: OPINION

We had a brilliant day at Longleat, despite the rain.
The monkeys at Longleat love to mess about.The monkeys at Longleat love to mess about.
The monkeys at Longleat love to mess about.

Sadly the day cost me £250 on top of the entrance fee and the fuel and I’m laying the blame squarely on the monkeys!

Yes, I know you have the option not to drive into the monkey enclosure but it’s part of the fun of the day.

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Sadly, an amorous couple got a little too carried away, swinging off my rear windscreen wiper while... well, you know.

The wiper arm snapped, they thudded against the car and fell.

Not only is a new wiper arm £100 but they also damaged the LED rear light and I now need a complete new cluster at £150.

Next time, I’ll stick to the lions and tigers, what could possibly go wrong there?

The gym dynamic changed when a woman walked in

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Don’t faint but I went to the gym this week. I’ve not joined but I decided I needed a work out so popped along to my local leisure centre and paid for a single session.

It was my first time there and I was impressed with it. Plus it was quiet, with only four men present, all in their

40s and 50s.

It was all rather relaxed until a pretty young lady in her early 20s came in and started doing stretches and the plank.

All of a sudden, one man put extra weights on his machine, another sped up the treadmill and a chap doing sit-ups visibly sucked his belly in.

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For me, it was all I could do not to break wind while doing the Pilates cat manoeuvre. Typical women, they ruin everything!

Chase your dreams and you will then reap the rewards

I have to say I have a lot of admiration for my former breakfast show co-host Rachel Brookes.

When she joined Power FM in 2001, if you’d said she would go on to be one of Sky Sports’ main Formula One presenters and travel the world, she would have said ‘in my dreams’.

But for Rachel, dreams did come true and she showed true grit and was brave going for it after having the misfortune of working with me every morning for five years.

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She was very different to work with to Ana Schofield my previous co-host.

Ana flew by the seat of her pants and showed little interest in planning – she was for the moment.

But we wanted someone with both.

Rachel fitted the bill and soon settled into the show and the features.

Ana was a big flirt but was like my older sister; Rachel was more like my mate’s sister who we all liked but kept us in check.

Around that time, we employed a new character on the show.

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One who would go out on the streets and set up stunts and his radio name was Maximum Bob.

With Rachel and Bob, the show took a very different path. From the anarchic capers of Bob – like knocking on people’s doors dressed in a towel trying to blag a shower – to the hottest showbiz gossip and shenanigans of our lives.

I always remember watching Ana and Rachel flirt with stars when they came into the studio.

Rachel would blush at Lee Ryan from Blue or Usher.

But it was the kind of flirting that if one had shown an interest, I think she would have run a mile.

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I knew she liked her cricket but I thought it was more down to trying to date a cricketer rather than the sport itself.

But when she revealed she was leaving for TalkSport it came as a surprise.

She never showed much ambition at Power FM but there she was, doing a handbrake turn in her career.

Soon she was on Sky Sports News and then hosting F1.

Rachel is an advert for someone who chases their dreams.

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