Post-Brexit who knows what will end up on our tables | Zella Compton

I get that it’s done, but I can’t bring myself to feel hope about the unravelling.

I’m scared about the trade deals which may be made, especially with the Americans and their current cutting red tape bonanza which could mean all sorts of backward steps for our food standards.

Donald Trump just rolled back environmental protections in the US; pollutants can be poured into waterways. What will end up on our tables in years to come? I can’t imagine we’ll be too picky given that we’ll be desperate to look prosperous.

Seatbelts on everyone…

I’m sick of the patriarchal rules about women’s bodies

I was aghast to read that a woman in Utah is in court for lewd behaviour as she removed her top, in her own home, and her stepchildren saw her bare breasts.

There’s much more to the story, as there is always is, and it appears to revolve around an ex-wife, some dry-wall and a big squidgy mess of emotions.

But seriously, come on – when/how did it become illegal there for a woman to be topless in her own home?

It makes me sick to my stomach to think that lawmakers make these absurd, insulting, and plain ridiculously patriarchal rules about women’s bodies in the first place.

Then the stretch of their jurisdiction reaches into homes.

Aside from all the impractical nature of policing this alleged lewdness, and aside from the fact that this is obviously a big fat case of sour grapes, and aside from the fact she was in her home, isn’t it surely a good thing to see naked flesh which isn’t airbrushed to perfection?

It isn’t being used in a sexualised manner to sell something, it isn’t engaged in some demeaning pornography.

And what exactly is wrong with breasts?

The husband isn’t being charged as lewd when he had his shirt off, and nor do I ever see a ban on males taking their shirts off on beaches, nor do I hear about men being banned from Facebook when they reveal their nipples.

So why are women penalised so much?

Are men that terrified of breasts?

There’s some old garbage even in UK schools about girls being made to wear bras as breasts on the loose – even under a shirt and jumper – are simply too distracting for male students.

Is this urban myth or is this true?

If the latter, how insulting is that to all the boys out there who have the self-control to not stare at breasts, and to not see every girl as a sexual object?

There is nothing about a woman going braless – either with a shirt on or not – which has anything to do with a man.

If a man can’t control his eye, hands or his penis, that’s about him.

The woman in Utah may may face jail time if she’s convicted and be on the sex offenders’ register for 10 years.

Gran’s fave colour and shoe size – it’s tax return time

It’s that time of year for battling tax returns. I don’t mind paying tax at all, I love the NHS, I think our schools are generally good, the roads are okay, and so on and so forth.

Dare I say it, I think most of us would be happy to pay more, especially to the NHS, who are still not getting that £350m a week. Hey ho.

But, oh, the pain of logging onto the tax website with its 63 security checks featuring a maze of passwords, codes, texts, new numbers, your granny’s favourite colour, what you last ordered from Domino’s and your shoe size.

Well, that’s how it feels to me at least.

What an utter pain in the pants, but once you are past the front door, it does get better.

It’s really not very funny at all.