Come on Mother Nature – my new lawn really needs you

Blaise's head is beginning to resemble Bobby Charlton's

BLAISE TAPP: It's not just little old ladies who are lonely

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Right then, who do I need to see around here to get some prolonged rain?

While it’s been lovely to feel the warmth of the sun and all that, it’s playing havoc with my turf.

Gardeners, how do you cope with long spells of drought?

Having just gone to the trouble and expense of laying a new lawn, it’s general health has now become something of an obsession.

I always thought those who owned manicured grass needed to get out and about a bit more.

Maybe it’s my age – or the position of the moon – but my back lawn now occupies a significant amount of my thinking time. How terribly middle class. Not to mention middle aged.

If a hosepipe ban comes into force here, I’m done for.