David Bailey should have worked for that degree – get the picture?

NEWS COMMENT: If we must have police cuts we need to know exactly why

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Photographer David Bailey has received an honorary doctorate from the University of East London for his outstanding contribution to the arts.

One thing that bugs me about these ‘honorary degrees’ is that celebs and famous people who get them just have to turn up on the day and they’re handed their degrees.

But surely if you’re going to be given a degree, even an honorary one, you should have to take some sort of exam or do a little bit of coursework to earn it. If they just turn up it sets a bad example to the other students doesn’t it?

I reckon celebs getting these honorary degrees should have to attend around four lectures, do three bits of coursework and sit two final exams.

Plus, they should have to live on taramasalata and pitta bread for a fortnight before picking the degree up, just so they can identify even more with the university experience.

* I’ve been reliably informed by the council that you’re not allowed to put garden gnomes in your green recycling bin.

So, if I want to get rid of them where should I put them? I can’t work out whether I should bury them, because even though they’re not living things they look like them!

Or should I wait for the world’s saddest thief to nick them? Any ideas on how to get rid of garden gnomes?

* A new programme by Coca Cola to bring free fitness classes to 70 parks in Britain has come under fire from health campaigners.

I don’t think that’s fair because drinking Coke can be a healthy activity.

Here’s how…try opening a new bottle of the stuff with greasy hands.

You’ll expend hundreds of calories, it’s better than any gym workout!