Do you mind if I borrow you for a sec, just to pick your brains? | BBC Radio Solent's Lou Hannan

Shall we do a bit of blue sky thinking until we come up with a no-brainer?

Tuesday, 12th November 2019, 12:41 pm
I'm just reaching out to you from my hotedesk....

Annoying office jargon and phrases have been on my mind lately as I’ve had a flurry of e-mails using the phrase ‘I’m just reaching out...’.

I can’t stand it.

I think anyone who works in an office is guilty of it at some point.

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Only the other day, I caught myself saying ‘can I borrow you for a sec?’ which, incidentally, has been voted the most annoying corporate phrase in a recent poll.

We spoke about this on the radio show this week and listeners’ own suggestions came in thick and fast.

Here’s the top four:

‘Can I pick your brains?’

‘Let’s think outside the box’

‘Keep me in the loop’

‘Don’t move the goalposts’

I could probably fill an entire edition of this newspaper with more. I bet, even as you’re reading this, you’re thinking of your own.

Working in an office comes with its own bits of protocol, doesn’t it?

Who hasn’t stared sternly at the colleague who decides to eat a curry or cheese and onion sandwiches at their desk?

What about the office kitchen – how many times have you gone to make a cuppa and held up your hands in horror at the state of it. 

You utter to whoever will listen ‘it makes you wonder what it’s like in their own kitchen if they leave this one in such a mess.’

One of my pet hates, though is the hot desk.

Long gone are the days when you had your own workspace. 

Instead you end up playing top trumps with colleagues about who can get into the office early enough to bag a desk.

Then, when you have bagged a desk, another 10 minutes passes as you look for the antibacterial wipes for the keyboard.

You then have to remove the mugs which have harvested enough bacteria to create a cure for a rare illness and sort through the endless sticky notes containing everything from random phone numbers to shopping lists.

Yes, these are first world problems, but with all this to contend with, it’s absolutely amazing we ever get any work done.