Dog’s toy would be shredded before I’d cooked the spuds

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Should you buy presents for your pets? Or would they be just as happy with the cardboard roll from the middle of the wrapping paper?

Do we have to include them in the festive commercial giving spree? Are they not rewarded enough by the fact that the whole family is at home, in a good mood, and potentially slipping them the odd chocolate or walnut?

By the way, why Father Christmas insists on putting a walnut in the bottom of each of my children’s stockings is quite beyond me. The kids don’t like nuts, Santa – give it a rest.

It just bugs me a bit that I’m being pressured by the kids to buy a toy for my dog (a squeaky turkey). Because I know full well it would be shredded even before I’d par-boiled the spuds.