Enough’s enough, even the cats have been banished

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Come on, own up. Do you update your Facebook status under the duvet?

Are you a secret under-the-covers Tweeter or, worse, do you eat in bed?

To my mind, beds are for one of two things – sleep or sex. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, else.

And what about all those people who have a television in their bedroom? I just don’t understand it.

Did you know that the bed is our most-used item of furniture and that 40 per cent of our lives are spent in it, either in the land of nod or doing, er, ‘bedroom gymnastics’?

That makes it pretty important, don’t you think?

So it makes sense that the best way to get a good night’s kip is to invest in a proper mattress you can sink into and some quality sheets.

Oh, there’s nothing like newly-washed sheets and a fresh, snuggly duvet.

I’ve just transformed my boudoir from a rather psychedelic shade of orange that at times gave me some weird tangerine-induced dreams/nightmares into a shade of virginal milkiness.

As a result, my sleep has been so much sweeter. And whilst cotton sheets are nice when you’re home alone, I much prefer the touch of silk and the decadent feel of them.

Ooh la la, fabulous when there’s two. But the magic is kind of lost when him indoors is in the lounge bug-eyed at watching Match of the Day and I’m left in my crib, pink fleecy onesie on reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

Even the cats have been banished from dozing on the bed these days.

It’s not because I’m one of those people who thinks animals should be banned from the bedroom.

Far from it, I’m quite happy to have them in there.

But owning two kitties that don’t get on (to put it mildly) and having to endure constantly being woken at 3am in the morning by hissing and spitting has led me to announce that enough is enough.

Tao, who thinks he’s the boss, tries every which way to oust Aurora from his favourite spot, so now they have their own duvets in the living room.

Goodnight all.